VISITING THE NEIGHBORS
Mommie took me for another ride to visit the neighbors, Sparky and his mommie. I didn't want to go, but Mommie said that they come to visit all the time and she is tired of
providing all the refreshments. It's time for Sparky's mommie to play hostess.
Wow, they have a huge house. I bet I could find lots of hidey holes in that house. Sparky came to the door with his mommie. Does that dog have
no shame? Today he was dressed like a hobo, scrunchy hat and all with a red bandana tied around his neck.
Sparky appeared to be a little embarrassed by his attire, but he still did his welcoming grrr. His mommie told him to be quiet
and be a nice host. When no one was watching I stuck my tongue out at him and mouthed ha ha ha – nice costume. Mommie and Sparky's mommie just let me have the run of the house.
Oh, no! Sparky’s buddy cat, Sissy is no sissy.
She weighs at least 22 pounds and was HUGE. When she saw me stick out my tongue at Sparky she came running and pounced on me. She weighs at least three times as much as I do and she had the advantage of surprise. Luckily I am faster than
she is and I escaped into the bedroom and hid under the bed. Sissy is too big to get under the bed.
When Mommie came to look
for me to go home she was surprised to find me under the bed. Well, she couldn't help but find me since I did my Y-O-W-L routine.
On the way home Mommie asked if I had a good time. She said for me: I'll bet you and Sparky
had a great time. I'm glad you got to meet Sissy. She has won awards all over the country for being a "Beautiful cat". Beautiful, my foot. She is a monster.
THE FLEA COLLAR
A while back Mommie got an ugly orange collar she was going to put on me. She still hasn’t taken it back to Petco to get it large enough for me. Today she got this foul smelling, goofy looking flea collar. It was big enough
to go around my outside mommie’s neck. Unfortunately for me, Mommie figured out how to shorten it so it would fit my neck.
It smells bad and feels funny (not ha ha) around my neck. And, the fleas are awful. I thought it was supposed
to make them go away. Mommie explained that for the first day or two the fleas that are already on me will try to leave and on their way out, they will bite. Mommie promises it will get better. I don’t like this collar, but I hate flea
THE CLEAN FLOOR
Y-i-i-k-k-es, I hit the wall. Thud. That hurt my head. I was woozy for just a second and I stumbled around. Mommie laughed. Bad Mommie!
should have told me she had just washed and waxed the floor. I liked the idea of skidding around a bit, but that hurt when I hit the wall. Mommie said she was sorry. She picked me up and tried to make amends by giving me a special treat.
On the throw rugs Mommie tried to use something called a vacuum cleaner. It made so much noise I ran and hid under the bed. I met some nice dust bunnies, but they didn’t play back. Mommie said she will wait until I can go outside
before she uses it again.
She was the one with the sparkle in her eye when she told me that she was thinking about using the business end of the vacuum hose on me. I don’t know what she has in mind, but that sparkle was devilish.
Should I be worried?
MY POUTING CORNER
Mommie treats me like a little kid. Whenever she is mad at me she puts me in the corner where my blanket is "just so". She calls it my "pouting corner".
The other day when Mommie ironed a batch of clothes I batted the cord back and forth. She led me over to my pouting corner and told me to stay there until she was done. She did bring me a toy to play with though.
the iron when the phone rang because she didn't want it to burn anything while she was gone. She and a friend (with a cat-hating boyfriend) talked for a long time. Mommie suggested a man from her church who might be interested in going out with
her, blah, blah, blah. Mommie didn’t pay attention to me.
I slinked out of my pouting corner and played with the iron cord. It didn't take long before the iron fell to the floor. PLOP!! I heard Mommie stomping into the
room so I swished my tail to run. When the tip of my tail touched the iron -- it was still HOT. OW OW OW.
Mommie said a quick good-bye and hung up the phone. She got some aloe vera to put on the tail tip. That helped. Mommie
said it wasn't permanently scorched and that it would heal well.
She kissed my tail tip when we went to bed. I love Mommie.
THE MIRROR AND ME
Mommie held me in front of something she called a mirror.
All I see is this really goofy looking kitten staring back at me.
I lurched forward to play with him. All he would do was put his paws on my paws. I tried to make him laugh and the funny thing is he was trying to do the same
thing for me. Every time I struck out at him to provoke him to play he would do the same. Silly animal.
I hope I don’t look like that! Mommie assured me I am much more beautiful than that kitten and I don’t have to
play with that stupid cat if I don’t want to.
Mommie says if there were an Olympic category for napping, I would win the gold medal. She doesn’t understand how I can
go ninety miles an hour and then all of a sudden drop to the floor and snooze. I don’t know why that is so, but my outside mommie says all cats, especially kittens, can do this.
Some of the places I have napped are, the dryer, the bath tub,
the sink in the bathroom, Mommie’s sock drawer, the window sill, and on the bed and in MY chair. One time I even napped on the stack of mail on the kitchen table. That time it didn’t fall over. There are other places I nap, but
I don’t want Mommie to know where they are. I need to keep my hidey holes secret.
Help! Help! I fell and can’t get up!. I hear that commercial on TV some times.
So, when I fell into the almost-empty cat food sack and couldn’t get out, I wished I had one of those little buttons to push. However, my ever-alert Mommie heard my cries and came to my rescue. Then she folded the top down so I couldn’t
fall in any more.
I suspect there are many more “traps” like that around the house that Mommie hasn’t even considered yet. I will show her.
NEW CAT LITTER
day Mommie brought home some cheaper cat litter. (Sometimes I think Mommie is a real tightwad.) Needless to say, I didn’t like it. It wasn’t the clumping kind and that kind works a lot better than that crap she just brought home.
(OK, I heard Mommie say crap and I think I know what it means.)
I tried to tell Mommie that Sissy has the better cat litter and if she wants to keep up with Sparky’s mommie she has got to use the better stuff.
I couldn’t get Mommie
to understand I didn’t like it, so I took the only route I knew to go. I scratched the whole pan full out onto the floor. If Mommie likes it so well, she can sweep it up and keep it for herself. I’m on strike!
the message. She went to town and got the clumping kind and she donated the awful stuff to the Pound. It is better than nothing for them.
Since the first frost fell last fall, a
lot of mice have been coming closer to the house. The outside cats do their duty, but there are still lots of mice out there.
Yesterday Mommie saw a mouse in the house and demanded “Sparkles, come here right NOW.” I
came running as fast as I could. She said, “Look in that corner, there is a mouse under the refrigerator. Go get ‘em.”
Do I even know what a real mouse looks like? That silly gray thing by Mommie’s
lap top is called a mouse and those catnip mice probably look a little like the real thing, but I doubt I could recognize one by looking at them.
All of a sudden this hideous looking gray thing came running out from behind the refrigerator right by
me. Mommie yelled: “Why didn’t you catch him?” I was SCARED, alright.
Mommie explained the mouse / cat tradition. Mouse teases cat, cat chases mouse, cat catches mouse and eats him. I guess
I believe in Garfield’s thinking – "I don’t eat mice". If Mommie thinks I am going to eat that beast she is sadly mistaken. I might chase it if it goes outside.
Mommie said: If you’re not going catch
and eat them, then WATCH OUT for the mouse traps!
What the heck are mouse traps? Mommie said I should look out for them. She said she used to put out poison for the mice, but since I live here too,
she can’t do that. Mouse poison is always fatal to cats.
I watched Mommie get a trap ready. She put cheese in it and then set it down where she had seen the mouse earlier. She set it down real slow and gentle, almost as
if she were afraid of it. After all, she did tell me to be on the lookout for traps.
S-N-A-P. I heard that. When I got to the source, I saw a little bitty mouse trying to get away from the trap. He couldn’t get his tail
loose. Mommie heard it too and she came running. She was almost crying and using thick gardening gloves, she took the trap outside and let the mouse go.
I was crying too because thinking about it made my tail hurt almost as much as that
little bitty mouse’s tail had to hurt. I certainly couldn’t eat such a cute little animal. Maybe I will become a vegetarian. After all, lettuce doesn’t cry, does it?
MOMMIE IS OBSESSED
Mommie says she hasn’t had a cat in about forty years – at least. So I guess I am her “training wheels” for cats. She wants to know everything about me.
Every Monday she presses me against the
wall in the bathroom and “measures” me. Of course she weighs me every day. She says I have gotten one inch taller and two inches longer in just two months. She says my tail keeps growing too.
I know if I put marks on the
wall like she does, she would scold me something fierce. She would probably make me lick them off. Why does Mommie get by with stuff I would get punished for?
The other day when
Sparky came with his mommie, he and I played in the bathroom. Mommie and Sparky’s mommie both commented on how well we were playing together.
All of a sudden they decided it was entirely too quiet in the bathroom. It seems Sparky
had this idea that we should get in the tub (which was still wet on the bottom after Mommie took a bath about an hour ago). This made the bottom of our feet wet.
Then Sparky suggested we step into the cat litter and get litter on our feet.
He showed me how to put footprints on the floor. So we put footprints on the floor. When Mommie and Sparky’s mommie came into the bathroom and saw all the footprints on the floor, each mommie yanked at the collar on her own pet and pulled
us into the kitchen.
Unfortunately, we both still had litter on our feet and were still putting footprints on the floor. After a thorough cleaning of my feet, Mommie locked me in the other bathroom and Sparky’s mommie made him sit
by her until it was time to go home.
When they went home, Mommie got me out of the bathroom and cuddled me. She said she knew it had to be Sparky’s idea because I would have done it earlier on my own if it had been my idea. Mommie
said she hoped I didn’t hurt my neck when she yanked my collar. Of course, I mewed a little to make her think it did still hurt (it didn’t even hurt at the time she did it) so she would feel a little guilty. Guilt can go a long way.