Sparkles' Antics

THE LITTER BOX – AGAIN 

When I am using the litter box, I scratch a lot and unfortunately some of the litter lands on the floor.  Mommie doesn’t like this.  Maybe I need a bigger box?

Then when I get out of the litter box, some of the litter clings to my feet and it follows me around the house.  Mommie is especially upset about this.

If any reader knows how to stop this, please email Mommie at sparkles.catnipper @gmail.com or on Facebook – SPARKLES CATNIPPER.

 UP A TREE  

It was a nice fall day with the leaves off the trees and fairly warm – 69 degrees.  I was minding my own business, when a stray dog wandered onto the place.  It was pretty small so I wasn’t particularly worried.

Since I am friends with Sparky, I went out to greet the dog.  It bared its teeth and was rather unfriendly.  I got as close as I dared before the dog started running after me.  Luckily there was a tree nearby that I could climb.  That stupid dog stayed at the bottom of that tree for three hours.

When Mommie got home she looked at the situation and laughed.  She couldn’t believe I would be afraid of a little bitty miniature poodle that has a mouth smaller than mine.  Mommie said:  “For Pete’s sake Sparkles, it’s a girl dog.”  I whined and said, “but Mommie, it looked like it had sharp teeth.”

Mommie reached up and got me off the tree and let me run away while she held the dog back.  She looked at the dog’s tag and then took the dog into the house –MY HOUSE – and called her people mommie.  When the dog’s mommie came and got her she looked like she had been crying.  That poor mommie; that bad doggie.

THE DINNER TABLE  

Mommie eats her meals on something she calls a TV tray with legs.  It is low enough to the floor so I can jump on it without really trying hard.  Not too smart.

Last night when she was eating a small steak and some salad with some yucky tasting dressing, I climbed on the table and tried to smell the steak.  Mommie quickly lifted me off the table.  But nice Mommie cut a couple of really small pieces and put them in my special tableside dish for me to eat.  Yum, yum.

Don’t tell Mommie how I know how bad the dressing tasted.  She doesn’t know I took a little bite of it.  She doesn’t have to worry about me taking any more bites of her salad.   I have a funny feeling I will be jumping on the table again when she has a meal.  I like the new cat food, but that steak was g-o-o-d. 

WHO IS IT? 

            I was outside a little past my curfew of dusk playing with the little outdoor kittens when I heard this strange sound.  It seemed to be asking Who? Who?  Since I didn’t know who it was talking about I more or less ignored the sound which turned out to be a bad idea.

            All at once there was this BIG bird that swooped in on the kittens and me.  I swear the wing span seemed to be at least ten feet.  (Well, it looked like ten feet to me.)  We scattered as fast as we could.  The little ones were able to hide under some big leaves on the plants that we were playing around.  Since I was the biggest target, that bird swooshed down on me and tried to pick me up with my collar.  Luckily my collar broke with tension on it.

           Just then Mommie came outside and scared that bird away.  She explained it was an owl and that I had come too close to the tree where it had its nest.  Mommie held me close until my heartbeat returned to normal.  Then Mommie said I had “better stay away from that tree and MAYBE you should obey my curfew”.  Yes Mommie.

MOMMIE’S SHOES  

Mommie wears these funny looking things on her feet that she calls shoes.  I already told you how she almost fell when I played with the strings on them when she had them on her feet.

Well, last night I went to play with them when she had them off of her feet and on the floor.  I pounced on them and Mommie said I did flip flops (whatever they are).  I was just having fun.

I got this idea it would be fun to stick my head in them to see how big they really were.  You know how I love to stick my head in things.  PU.  The outside of the shoes smelled OK, but the inside – well, they were worse than Mommie’s bad breath some times.

Mommie said I had the strangest look on my face when I came up for air.  And, boy did I need air!

WE BROKE UP  

Calico and I have been going steady for about three weeks.  Yesterday she said she needed an older cat.  She said I was too young and immature.  I thought we had a good thing going.

Calico listed all my immaturities:  I was afraid of a little bitty miniature poodle, I stayed in the house with Mommie at night because I was afraid to be outside without my Mommie, and I had flirted with her sister, Calico One Eye.  (Ok, I was guilty of the last one.)  She wanted someone who had a long term relationship in mind. 

Actually, Calico was getting on my nerves.  She always had a headache whenever I wanted to cuddle.  She also became a nag.  She wanted me to stay outside at night with her instead of running home to Mommie.  (Mommie needs me.)  It probably is for the best.

Anyway, I have my next “conquest” in my sights.

MY COUSIN KITTIE  

Mommie says I have a cousin named Kittie.  How come he gets a name like that and I get “Sparkles”?

My Auntie Helen says Kittie uses her leg as a scratching post when he wants something like food, attention, some love, to be picked up, or just wants to play.  Of course a meow goes with it. 

Auntie Helen says she knows the difference in Kittie’s meows.  The louder the meow, the better she knows what he wants.  (Food is the loudest meow!)  I have already taught Mommie what I want too, just like Kittie.

Mommie says I look a lot like Kittie.  Of course, why wouldn’t we, we are cousins aren’t we?

LOST 

Since Mommie has been secure enough with my maturity, she lets me run freely in the park.   Mommie talks to other cat mommies in the park and all seem to agree that a leash is futile for a cat.  No matter how they do it, the cats all seem to be able to get out of them.

Yesterday Mommie was so busy gabbing with the other mommies she forgot to keep an eye on me and I wandered away.  Well, actually I was chasing this cute little bunny.  He probably weighed less than two pounds.  He was small, but he ran as fast as he could to his nest in a hole in the ground.  I reached into the hole to grab the little sucker and OUCH!  Apparently his mommie was in the hole and she bit me. 

It was time to find Mommie so she could kiss it and make it better.  I looked around and I couldn’t see her.  MOMMIE, MOMMIE, MOMMIE I hollered in cat language.  No Mommie.  It was about the same time that Mommie started looking for me.  Mommie had the whole bunch of cat mommies out looking for me.  I don’t have to tell you I was scared.  I was lost and I was afraid the bunny mommie would come looking for me.

All of a sudden I saw the bench where Mommie was supposed to be.  She wasn’t there.  I didn’t know it but she was out looking for me in the opposite direction.  Fortunately, one of the cat mommies recognized me and yelled to tell Mommie that I was found. 

Mommie picked me up and hugged me tight.  She didn’t scold or use bad words, she was just glad I was found.  Mommie doesn’t have to tell me, I won’t wander away again, I hope.

IT SOUNDS FISHY   

The other day Mommie and I went to visit Sparky's mommie.  Melanie and I were playing in the family room.  Melanie showed me her new pet fish which were swimming around and around in a fishbowl the size of a bowling ball.

Melanie said very plainly "Don't touch the fish".  While she was playing in the corner with her doll house, I quietly sidled over to the fish bowl to see what the excitement was about.  Just as I was watching the fish from on top (I had climbed on the table where the fish were), Melanie shrieked "NO NO NO."

As I panicked, my paw got stuck in the fish bowl and everything went crashing to the floor.   The two mommies came running into the room.  Sparky's mommie got a large glass of water and she picked up the fish from the floor.  They seemed to be OK.  Luckily the fish bowl didn't shatter, just the water came out.

On the way home Mommie was a little upset with me.  But she did say Sparky's mommie should have been aware that the fish bowl would be of interest to me and she should have put it in the bedroom or somewhere where I couldn't have gotten to it.  Mommie said she didn't understand the fascination with fish anyway.  I love Mommie.

SNOWBALL    

Snowball is my newest love.  She is mostly white with just a couple black spots on her head.  She is g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s.  Ever since my eyes started to wander away from Calico, I peeked at Snowball.  Calico was wrong about my reason for flirting with Calico One Eye.  I flirted once because I didn’t want Calico to see that I was really infatuated with Snowball.

Since Calico and I split up, I have been trying to get Snowball’s attention.  She is quite the prissy cat.  Cute, but mysterious.  Beautiful body with hair almost as long as mine.  I will have to admit she is a little young but in a month or two she will be ready to cuddle with me. 

I am making Calico think that she really upset me, because I want her to be really surprised when Snowball and I take up where Calico and I left off.

Love is complicated.

TOILET PAPER ROLLS  

Along with the paper towel rolls, I use toilet paper rolls for scratching.  The trouble with toilet paper rolls, they roll a lot easier and faster than paper towel rolls. 

Yesterday, this one roll was about half used.  (I don’t want to think of a used one – PU.)  It rolled on the floor so easily.  I started my lace making.  Trouble started happening right away – it stuck to my foot and it followed me around the house.  Mommie wasn’t home so it wouldn’t have done any good to cry for her help.

When Mommie came home she found the end of the roll still stuck to my foot.  It was wound twice around my morning race track, into the bathtub, up on MY chair, back over to the bed.  Mommie estimated that I had used at least 75 feet of paper. 

Mommie pretended to be mad, but I could see a smile (at least a little one) on her face.  After she cleaned it up, she said:  "Drat, I wish I would have taken a picture of that so I could put it in his baby book."  What’s a baby book?

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Sparky’s mommie and Auntie Helen says Mommie and I need anger management classes.  (Yes, Mommie too.)

The other day I jumped on Mommie’s laptop and ruined three keys.  Honest, it was an accident.  Mommie said a few bad words and then threw me outside (well, it seemed like throwing).  That afternoon she sprayed water on me when she watered the flowers.  You know how I HATE cold water. 

Yesterday when she was gone I mauled a toilet paper roll to death.  She said it was not salvageable.  

This tit for tat has got to stop!   Tit for Tat??

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24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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30.03 | 13:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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05.09 | 15:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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16.04 | 11:32
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