Mommie Loves Me

MY NEW PET

Mommie went to this place called “Cracker Barrel” and brought home a new pet for me.  I didn’t know you could buy pets in barrels full of crackers, did you?

Mommie said she had a pet – me – and she wanted me to have one too.  Would you believe she brought home a skunk for me?  It doesn’t smell like the kind of skunk the outdoor cats tell me there is.  All this “pet” skunk of mine will do is chase a silly lighted ball around.  It does flip flops and tries its best to outrun me, but I am faster.  Good thing it isn’t real because I think a real one would taste good.

Mommie, the pet skunk you brought me is ok, but it is not nearly as much fun for me as you thought it would be.  Mommie, I don’t need a pet – I have you.

LACY PAPER TOWELS  

Aren’t they pretty?  Mommie said something about how the paper towels look very lacy now. Mommie held them up to the light and commented on how each towel had a different lace pattern.  But, from the tone of her voice, I don’t think she meant that as a compliment.  Doesn’t she realize how hard I try to make them pretty.  (Wink, wink.)  Truth be told, it is just random claw marks. 

Mommie still hasn’t gotten me a real scratching post, so I use whatever is handy.  She still hasn’t discovered one of my favorite places and I don’t think she will be happy when she does find it.   Mommie, are you listening?.

MOMMIE NEEDS A HEARING AID  

Sometimes when Mommie is working on the computer in the living room, she will turn on the TV in the bedroom and listen to the shows.

It is LOUD.  It actually hurts my ears.  Ow Ow Ow.  I think Sparky, who lives a half mile away, can hear the TV there.  I don’t think, I KNOW Mommie needs a hearing aid.  Mommie says to mind my own business.  She says I don’t know beans about hearing and hearing aids.  What do beans have to do with it? 

Mommie, I see and HEAR those ads on TV that try to sell hearing aids.  You should really listen to one sometime.  Mommie, please, please get a hearing aid before I go deaf too.

IT’S VETERANS DAY  

Today is November 11th – Veterans Day.  This is a day we are to honor our veterans.  This means Mommie and I are going to the nursing home and bringing Daddie some cake.  Daddie was a REAL hero.  He fought on foreign soil for almost four years when he put his life out there for our country.

Mommie has been showing me how to do a proper salute.  She showed me how to put my right paw up to my forehead in a salute to show honor to a veteran. 

When we got to the home, Daddie was waiting.  The nursing home had U S Flags flying everywhere.  They had a small ceremony to honor those veterans who were residents there.  The girls at the nursing home were in awe that I could actually do a proper salute.  Daddie loved it.  I think he might actually be ready to be my friend. 

Of course, Mommie made a small cake to take to Daddie in honor of the day. (Chocolate cake with fake cream frosting.)  Mommie knows that is what Daddie and I like.  She left the remains there for Daddie to eat when we are gone.  Mommie said we would have something else at home because the cake we brought was for Daddie.  I understand.

I love Daddie and Mommie.

SCRATCHING POST?  

Mommie brought home this thing she called a “scratching post”.  It is about two feet tall and has a rug wound around it.  She said I should use this instead of the couch.

I didn’t think Mommie knew I was using the couch for scratching.  It still looks the same to me, but Mommie said she could tell.  She doesn’t know of the other two places I go to scratch and I’m not about to tell her.

This scratching post stinks.  Maybe if it had some catnip on it, I might be interested in it.  It is supposed to be stable.  It has a big round thing-a-ma-jig on the bottom to keep it from falling over.  Well, yesterday I went into a scratching frenzy and toppled it over. 

I wanted Mommie to take it back and bring back more treats instead.  She just left it in the living room.  The last time I went to scratch on the couch she grabbed me and MARCHED me over to the scratching post. 

OK, I will use it when Mommie is within sight, but if I need to scratch when she is gone, my other secret scratching places will get my use.  Ha Ha Mommie.

 FROM ASHES TO ASHES  

Last night Mommie cleaned out the fireplace ashes.  She actually looked like she was having fun.  She would pull a few ashes to the front of the fireplace and dip in with a coffee can and put the ashes into the bucket she had on the floor.  Mommie hadn’t had a fire in the fireplace since last spring.  It must have been a long winter because there was almost a full five gallon bucket full of ashes.

When Mommie got up off the floor and started carrying the ash bucket, she tripped on a throw rug and almost fell.  Luckily she didn’t fall, but the bucket of ashes spilled out onto the floor.  Since I was right beside her keeping track of the proceedings, I got covered with ashes. 

I had ashes everywhere.  Fortunately instinct took over and my eyes closed just in time so I didn’t get any in my eyes.  I had ashes on my feet, my ears, my back and even under my tail!! I was a mess. 

Before Mommie got out the vacuum cleaner to pick up the ashes, she took me to the tub and turned on the warm water.  She scrubbed me from head to toe, even under my tail.  Mommie said ashes can be bad on skin and she didn’t want to have to take me to see Dr. Candie either. 

After a while I was shining clean.  If I were totally black, I bet you could see your reflection on my hair – I was that clean.  Mommie apologized by giving me one of my special treats.

I love Mommie.

THE (FORMERLY) HANGING PLANT  

Mommie has this beautiful hanging vine in the south window of the bathroom.  She puts it outside in the spring and fall, but keeps it in the house in the winter and the summer.  Both are either too hot or too cold.  She says they need special care.        

Mommie has made it quite clear that I am to stay away from that plant.  She put it up high in the window.  In fact she needs a step stool to water it properly. 

Unfortunately, this plant has a wonderful odor that I like.  Kind of minty with soft leaves.  It also has red flowers and you know how I like red things.

Well, today when Mommie was gone, I got up on the bathroom counter top and then sort of leaped across to the tall storage cabinet that was right next to the hanging plant.  I just HAD to have a smell of those flowers again.  Ummmm.  Since the window was open just a little, the plant kind of swung back and forth a little bit, and with my weight, it came crashing down to the floor in the bathroom.  Oh, No, I am in t-r-o-u-b-l-e again.

Needless to say Mommie was not happy.  She salvaged most of it because all it lost was some dirt that came out of the basket when it fell.  She did scold a few times and she is still wondering how I got up there.  I think she believes I sprang clear from the floor up to the plant.  The basket was woven straw and it did have a little support for my claws when I climbed on it.

 PICKLE JUICE IS STICKY  

I was in big trouble today.  Mommie came home from town and set the groceries on the kitchen counter.  As you know, I get up there fairly easy.  I was hopping from sack to sack (greenie Mommie uses the paper sacks) looking to see what I could see. 

I thought I saw a piece of candy in the bottom of one of the sacks.  When I got into the sack, it was apparently too close to the edge of the counter and the sack and I went WHOMP onto the floor.  I didn’t get hurt because I am light on my feet and was able to upright myself before the sack hit the floor.

But, I can’t say that for the eggs.  The egg carton opened up and a dozen eggs hit the floor.  Of course, Mommie doesn’t have that mat that is advertised on TV, you know the one where eggs fall off the counter and don’t break.  Mommie was able to save six of the eggs.  The rest she gave to the outdoor cats to filter out the shells.

The pickle jar didn’t fare too well either.  It seemed to be a very thin jar that broke on impact with the floor.  Before I could escape, my feet got gooey pickle juice all over.  Luckily I didn’t get any glass in my paws.

Mommie let me sit and try to wash off the pickle juice from my paws.  The longer it stayed on my paws the thicker and yuckier it got.  I didn’t like the taste of the juice – very acidy and tart – but I had to keep licking to get it off. 

Mommie finally took pity on me and brought a small dish with warm water and soap in it to get the juice off my paws.  No yelling or bad words.  It seems Mommie is getting into the mommie patience thing. 

I love Mommie.

ANCESTRY  

When Mommie was searching on the internet for a family tree for a friend who is computer illiterate, she was telling me all about her (Mommie’s) family tree.  She said that since I didn’t know who my biological mommie and daddie were, my tree would have to start with me.

She said it is not a real tree. They call it a tree because it has many branches going back five or six generations.  Thank goodness!  I was beginning to think I might turn into wood.

Mommie found out some interesting information about her friend’s relatives.  One was a bank robber (five generations back) and a cousin (twice removed) was currently in prison for bank fraud.  One of her other relatives was a Sioux Indian Chief.  Wow! That made me want to go over to Sparky’s and play cowboys and Indians.

Generations, twice removed – what the heck do these words mean? 

OH NO!!! E-X-E-R-C-I-S-E !!!  

Mommie is off her diet and now she wants to exercise.  I hate exercise.  I get all sweaty and heated up.  But I want to make Mommie happy so I am going to go along with it.

Mommie decided since it was still late fall she would do the exercises out on the porch.  Several of the outdoor cats were watching and one cute little yellow girl cat seemed to like what Mommie was doing.  Mommie showed me how to stretch my front legs up and over my head to really do what she was doing.  That was hard.

That cute yellow cat had it all down.  She was exercising like crazy.  It seemed everything that Mommie did and what Mommie was showing me how to do, she followed suit without Mommie even showing her how.

I think that little cat was trying to impress Mommie – and, she did.  I think she is a little hussy who wants to come in and be Mommie’s other cat.  I hope not, I LIKE being Mommie’s only indoor cat. 

One of these days I am going to show her who Mommie’s favorite cat is – ME.  Get it you little yellow hussy?

VISITING LINDA  

One of Mommie’s best friends, Linda, lives in a nursing home.  It is on the other side of town from Daddie.

Mommie says Linda is a true cat lover.  In fact, she has a cat named Noah.  Unfortunately, Noah has to live with Linda’s sister, Alice, because Linda can’t keep a cat at the home.

Mommie thought it would be a good idea for Linda and me to meet.  I’m getting to the point where I am much better behaved away from home.  I have grown quite fat in the last few months.  I am too fat to run too fast.  Mommie can catch me a lot of the time. 

When I went into the nursing home, Linda was at the door to greet me.  She picked me up in her arms and held me just right.  Linda really knows how to pet a cat.  I did some of my best purring for Linda.  Linda had to lead me with my leash because she couldn’t carry me and walk with the walker that she uses.

Linda has been at the home for nearly ten years and she knows everyone there.  So she took me around to the rooms that had people in them who she knew would enjoy a visit from me.  Her roommate Billie really loves cats too, but she is too sick right now to appreciate a visit from me, so Linda couldn’t take me into her room. 

Mommie said I could only stay about half an hour.  It was one of the best half hours I have ever had.  The people in the home really needed a cat that purrs loud – ME.

I love Linda.

THIS YEAR’S CHRISTMAS CARD  

Mommie has a friend who is a professional photographer.  Mommie called her and asked to meet us at Daddie’s home.  Mommie said she wanted a new Christmas card to send out to everyone.  Last year Woffier was in the picture.  This year I will be in the picture.  I am not sure what all this means, but it does mean a trip to see Daddie – yippee!

The photographer came to the home.  She found a nice background for the picture.  Daddie got out of his wheel chair and sat on a red velvet cushion in a big regular chair.  Mommie stood behind him and I sat on Daddie’s lap.  Well, sort of.  Some of the nurses were watching and teasing me.  I jumped off three times before Mommie changed the seating.

Mommie found another chair and sat beside Daddie.  Mommie held me tight.  After about five snaps I was seeing stars.  The picture of me with my back half on Daddie’s knee and my front half on Mommie’s knee was Mommie’s favorite.

Mommie said she would post it on Facebook – whatever that is.

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Latest comments

24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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30.03 | 13:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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05.09 | 15:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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28.08 | 12:44
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