IT’S TOO EARLY FOR SUPPER
Mommie tried to get me to eat my supper early. I like food, but I do have an internal clock that tells me it is too early for supper. Mommie looked at the clock and
said – “yep, it’s 6 pm, your supper time”.
Mommie grumbled something about daylight savings time had just begun and the clocks had been set forward. Huh?
She said we had been having supper
at 6 pm regular time. But because it began daylight savings time this morning, the clock says 6 pm, but it is really 5 pm. Mommie gave me this long drawn-out story that we need more daylight in the summer and therefore we need to get people moving
earlier in the morning, by setting the clocks forward one hour. Since I don’t even know the people language, this made no sense and “sounded like Greek to me”. (Mommie often says that when she doesn’t understand something
Mommie could tell I was confused and all she said was “EAT”. I did.
THE MOTORCYCLE RIDE
One of Mommie's friends from Nebraska was on a trip across the
United States on a motorcycle. Since he knew where Mommie lived, he called to see if it would be OK if he came to visit.
I didn't know this, but Mommie said she had a Honda motorcycle at one time – an electric start Honda 300. Mommie
said this was one of the first electric start motorcycles that had come out. She had ridden on one that was kick start, but she said she wasn't strong enough to get it to start. Mommie said she never got her license but she did ride around some.
of a sudden there was this LOUD noise and dust flying all around. It was the motorcycle. WOW that was one good looking machine. The man said it was a "Hog". Since it had a side car, Mommie agreed to go for a ride. She asked the
man if it would be ok if I rode along too.
He said "sure." Mommie didn't ask me if I wanted to ride. After she got in the side car, she asked the man to pick me up. If I had known what was going to happen I would have scratched
him right there. After she put on the helmet she couldn't hear me crying -- NO NO NO.
We were cruising down the road. Since I didn't have a helmet, I got dirt and bugs (ICK) in my eyes and in my mouth. I tried to escape, but Mommie
kept holding me down. She said it was too dangerous to get off when it was driving down the road.
When we got back home, I leaped (probably a high jump record) off the side car and ran as fast as I could away from that machine.
that night when we went to bed Mommie said she was sorry about forcing me to ride the motorcycle. Another couple points for the guilt bank?
Mommie took my Momma (that is what I call her) –
Tabby – to see Dr. Candie. Dr. Candie said she recognized Tabby. Some young woman had brought Tabby in and had her “fixed” and she didn’t pay the extra $25 pain management fee. Dr. Candie said Tabby had her first litter
and that one of the two kittens died. She didn’t know where the other one went.
Dr. Candie said she did not particularly like the way that young woman treated Tabby. She asked the woman where she got the cat and the woman said her
elderly parents couldn’t afford to keep her any more so she agreed to take her for a while. The woman put up a notice on the bulletin board at Dr. Candie’s office to see if anyone wanted Tabby. Mommie took down the phone number.
Dr. Candie wasn’t surprised that Mommie found Tabby in the park. She didn’t think the young woman would want to care for Tabby anyway. She was glad that Mommie had found her.
Luckily, since Tabby had been to the vet’s
office she had all her shots and they were up-to-date. Mommie was glad about that.
The wonderful thing – Dr. Candie said the woman called the cat “Tabby”. YES!!!
time Mommie went up to the attic, I was outside playing with the outside kittens and didn't go with her. If I had, I would have pleaded with my last breath not to bring down the child size ROCKING CHAIR.
When I was up in the attic one time, I
sat in it for a while and it almost made me sick. Now, she has it in the living room. Mommie is sad that I don't sit in it because she brought it down just for me. OK Mommie I will sit in it for a while, just don't push me.
Mommie sneaked up behind me and started the rocking. I almost threw up right there. I was dizzy when I crawled out of the chair. Mommie thinks I will get used to it. Ha! She did put a cushion in it and when she was sleeping I went back
and sat in it for a while. It really wasn't too bad. It was my size and it had a soft cushion.
JUST DON'T PUSH.
HELPING MOMMIE PLANT THE GARDEN
I helped Mommie plant her garden
a few days ago. Mommie had all these trays full of little plants. Mommie said they were babies, just like I used to be. She planted onions, cucumbers, pumpkins, watermelons and corn.
After she got done planting the onions, I went around
and smelled everything. The onions were a little smelly. The cucumbers, pumpkins, and watermelons didn’t have an odor. Mommie dug little holes in the ground to put corn seeds in the holes. Mommie gave me strict orders not to dig up
the plants or mess with the corn holes. What she forgot to do was to tell the outdoor cats that.
It seems that two days after she planted the garden, some of the onions had been dug up. There was evidence of cat claws in the dirt.
Mommie was unhappy. She could see that the claw marks were bigger than mine. She went out and bought an electric fence that was cat high. She strung it out all around the little plants.
The message must have gotten around
to all the cats, because by the third day none of the cats ventured even close to the garden.
I like it when Mommie is happy.
RIDING TO THE MAIL BOX
Since it snowed last night, Mommie is taking the
riding lawn mower to the mail box to get the mail.
She said if I behaved she would let me ride with her on the mower. When she mows she always puts me in the house so I won’t get hurt. Today since she isn’t mowing she decided
to treat me to a ride. Yippee!
Unfortunately, I didn’t appreciate the gesture. I was so excited to get to ride that I jumped up on her lap and began the ride. When she had gone about twenty feet, I jumped off and ran around the
mower and Mommie had to slam on the brakes so she wouldn’t hit me.
Mommie gave me another chance. She picked me up and started the ride again. I saw one of my outdoor cat friends and jumped off again. Of course, Mommie
was a little ticked off.
She immediately picked me up, restarted the mower and drove back to the house. She took me by the nape of my neck and threw me in the house (well, it seemed like a throw to me). She said a couple of those bad words
and shut me in the house.
I will probably never get another ride. Bad me.
GOATS WILL EAT ANYTHING
Mommie has a compost barrel. The neighbors have goats that will eat wood,
bad food, and perishable food stuff other people would consider garbage.
When I was visiting Ramos the other day he was eating egg shells and green leaves off the trees. I commented that I thought he must have an iron stomach. He said
it was just the way God made goats’ stomachs. Besides he said his people mommie didn’t like the fuss of a compost barrel. He wanted me to try some leaves he was eating. I did – yuck!
I will stick with
the dry cat food Mommie gives me.
WEARIN’ OF THE GREEN
Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. It was finally here after two weeks of non-stop advertising. Of course, Mommie had
Mommie made a green cake with white and green frosting. She had white bread on the sandwiches but had green lunch meat (ugh) that she got somewhere. She got ginger ale and white wine (which is not white) into which she put lime
jello in it to make it green. She had plenty of Seven Up to drink.
I saw the funniest thing walk in the door. Sparky had a green top hat on his head and a green bow on his collar. The other invited cats and I had a big laugh.
That Sparky must really be henpecked since he apparently goes along with whatever his mommie wants him to wear. Fortunately for me, Mommie was too busy preparing the food and drink that she didn’t even think of dressing me up.
with the green anyway? Somebody brought some green almost-beer. Then the singing began. Everybody seemed to know all the Irish songs. I liked "Danny Boy" the best. After a couple hours the singing got extra loud. I sneaked
into the bedroom and hid under the bed -- it was too noisy. Luckily we live out in the country and no one called the cops. Some of the other cats joined me. One of the cats said Sparky was looking for me. Sparky is too big to get under
the bed. I hope.
Mommie, Mommie, Mommie, why do you insist on trying to hide my vitamins in pieces of my favorite meat? Don’t you know I know your little trick? Besides
it doesn’t work. I have a few vitamins stored in one of my hidey holes – well, 75 at last count.
I saw an ad at Dr. Candie’s office about liquid vitamins that “no one, not even your most finicky cat can tell it is in her
food.” Hey dumbo ad person, does this mean cat boys CAN tell it is in HIS food? I saw this ad on TV too. Mommie, maybe we ought to wait for an answer from the ad people before you try it on me. Or, Mommie, how about a better tasting
vitamin or even cat food that already has vitamins in it. Sometimes cat mommies have a lot to learn.
Mommie called the phone number of the woman who had cared for Tabby last. She
called and told her that she had found Tabby and if she wanted her back Mommie would bring her back. The woman said she couldn’t care for a cat right now because her boyfriend hated cats. She did say her parents missed Tabby and maybe Mommie
could call them if they wanted her back.
The next number Mommie called was to the elderly couple. They were glad that someone who really cared about Tabby had found her in the park. They said their daughter was a bit “out there”.
When Mommie asked if she could bring Tabby over just to visit, they were delighted.
Mommie and I took Momma over to see the elderly couple. Momma and I both rode in my visiting cage. As soon as Mommie opened the cage, Momma leaped into the
elderly man’s arms. Tears streamed down the man’s face. The woman was sitting in a wheel chair and as soon as the man released Momma she made a mad dash and leaped onto the woman’s lap.
The couple said they really couldn’t
take Tabby back because they couldn’t afford to feed her properly and the wheel chair was a danger to Tabby. The woman’s eyesight was not good and she could accidentally run over Tabby’s tail or worse. Mommie said she would care
for Tabby but that we would bring her over every now and then so they could visit.
The couple remarked that my markings were very similar to Tabby when she was younger. The man wondered – out loud – if I could be the kitten that survived.
Right then I wished I could speak people and tell them the truth. Momma and I just smiled at each other.
DAD BLASTED SEALED SNACK PACKAGES
There was a great sale on potato chip snack packages at Kroger.
Mommie loves a sale so she bought a dozen packages.
I know Mommie likes the smoked barbeque flavor. For about ten minutes Mommie tried to open the package. She said it must have been made for five year olds, not old ladies like herself.
Maybe the package is trying to tell Mommie she didn't need any more snacks like that.
She was so angry she threw the package at me and said "go for it". Of course, I did. With my sharp claws I opened that package in about
ten seconds. Now, Mommie, that wasn't so hard, was it? She let me have the whole package.
Mommie bought a small scissors that she strung on a rope and now she wears it around her neck.
As everyone knows by now, Mommie is a cheapo. So she darns socks and puts patches on clothes. She has this big sewing kit -- almost the size of my visiting cage -- that has all her supplies in it. She has a sewing machine, but she doesn't
usually get that out unless she is going to make something new.
The other day when she was mending a pair of her jeans, I was hovering around looking to see what she was doing (truthfully, I was probably looking for trouble). She dropped her thimble.
When the thimble hit the floor, I got closer to the project she was working on. Not so smart.
All at once I stepped on the needle. OW OW OW. Mommie kissed my left paw because it was bleeding a little after she had wiped it off with
a soft cloth. Then she put the dreaded iodine on it. OW OW OW again. Mommie and her iodine.
Mommie had on her “when-will-you-ever-learn” face -- again.