IT'S SPRING!!!

GUM  

Mommie put her chewed gum in a tissue and threw it in the garbage.  As you know, I am a great scavenger.  This particular garbage sack had remnants of a chocolate candy bar that Mommie said was too soft.  I wanted that candy bar.

When Mommie goes to town, I do my garbage sack routine.  I peek into each sack of garbage and if anything looks tempting I get it out.  I try not to spill any of the other garbage on the floor so Mommie doesn't discover my secret temptation.

Well, today, as I was going through the garbage where I saw Mommie toss the half eaten candy bar, I ran across the tissue with the gum in it.  That particular piece of garbage looked pretty interesting.  I stuck my paw into the tissue and tried to get the gum. Guess what -- the gum got me.  It wouldn't let loose.

I tried every which way to get it off my paws, but the harder I tried, the more I got it stuck all over me.  I had gum on top of my head, my back, between my eyes, and several small pieces on my tail.  I couldn't hide it. 

When Mommie came home she discovered my predicament.  She got out the scissors and tweezers.  It took her nearly an hour to get all of the gum out of my hair.  She didn't scold or say bad words because she could see how troubled I was.

And, to top it off, I didn't get the half candy bar I wanted.  After that ordeal I have been much more aware of what is in the garbage.

LIGHTENING STRIKES  

Last night there was a very LOUD thunder and lightening storm.  You could actually see the whole front yard as if it were daylight because of the lightening.

Mommie says she doesn’t remember all the science about lightening, but it is related to electricity.  She says many people are killed every year because lightening strikes them if they are outside.  She said we were much safer in the house than out in the yard.  She said something about the lightening rods that were attached to the house “grounded” the electricity and kept it from coming inside the house.

This storm went on for about ten minutes when a lightening bolt struck the old oak tree in the garden.  The tree was old and full of rotted timber.  The lightening got a hold on the tree and it started to burn.

Mommie called the fire department.  She said she really hated to do that because of the light hail that was popping on the ground, but she didn’t want the fire to spread to some of the other trees.  She said with the high wind that was out there the fire could easily spread.

Since we only live three miles from the fire station, the SIRENS started screaming in about ten minutes.  The fire department is operated by volunteers so it can take several minutes before one of the volunteers gets to the fire station and the fire truck is always ready at a moment’s notice.  I had to put my paws over my ears, the sound was so LOUD.

After the fire was put out, Mommie made some coffee and gave the firemen some cake and coffee.  Some of the neighbors came by to see the excitement.  The goat lady brought Lakisha because she knew Lakisha would entertain me so Mommie didn’t have to worry about me getting stepped on by firemen or getting in their way.

Mommie and I said an extra prayer for the firemen when we finally went to bed.  AMEN!

GOING TO PRE-SCHOOL   

The goat lady’s granddaughter, Lakisha, wanted a pet to take to preschool.  The goats were too big.  The teacher suggested a cat or a small dog.

Guess who got to go to preschool?  Me!!!  Lakisha asked Mommie if I could go to school with her the following week.  Mommie said OK, but that she would have to take me.  Lakisha and her grandma said that would be fine. 

Mommie instructed me at home and reminded me that there would be other animals there that day.  She said I should be a model of obedience (whatever that is).  If I had fingers I would have crossed them right then.  Most people know about my tendency to get into situations that require rescuing. 

Of course, I got into trouble.  In the classroom Mommie took me out of my visiting cage and held me on her lap.  Across the room I spotted that little miniature poodle who had held me hostage up in a tree for three hours last fall.  I heard her tell the other cats that I was a wimp.  Fighting words!

When the little beast (miniature poodle) was brought up to the front of the classroom, I struggled loose from Mommie and charged at that poodle.  All of a sudden a mini riot broke out in the classroom.  Other people mommies strained to keep their pets in order.  It didn’t do much good because the bigger dogs and cats got loose.  All the freed animals went up to the front of the classroom and started fighting each other.

Mommie quietly went and picked me up.  The miniature poodle had taken a successful swipe at me and my nose was bloodied but I clawed her back and she had blood on her nose too.  Mommie and I left out the door while the melee was going on. 

That evening Lakisha came over and yelled at me because she didn’t get to show her pet.  You can’t believe how LOUD a four year old can be.

CONCENTRATE, MOMMIE, CONCENTRATE  

Mommie, you know I love you, but you have at least one annoying habit.  When you are petting me with your right hand, sometimes you have a computer notebook in your left hand. 

I really don't mind one handed petting, but I at least want your full attention.  What if I decided to give you an "itsy bitsy" purr, not the kind you like.  I don't think you would like it either.

So, either you give me all your concentration and give me your FULL attention or I will give you an "itsy bitsy" purr. 

Your choice Mommie!

ITS APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!  

Mommie was explaining April Fools Day to me.  She said it was just for fun and not to be taken seriously.  Mommie borrowed a friend’s cell phone and called Sparky’s mommie and told her she was with the IRS and that they were coming to her home tomorrow for an audit.  Mommie told her the IRS was concerned about the number of dependents they were claiming for last year and she said Sparky was an unusual name for a child. 

Sparky’s mommie called Mommie back and told her she had three flat tires.  Mommie and Sparky’s mommie had a good laugh together.  OK.  So this makes it ok for me to tease Sparky and Sissy when we go to visit them today.  

When we got to Sparky’s house, I told Sparky that he had a bur in his tail right near the tip of the tail.  You should have seen Sparky chase his tail looking for that bur.  It was really funny.  Sissy was just as gullible because I told her that she had a bald spot on the top of her head.  She ran looking for the mirror. 

Sparky and Sissy ganged up on me and told me that the miniature poodle that held me hostage last fall was outside waiting to come in.  I ran for the bedroom to hide under the bed. 

We all yelled APRIL FOOL at the same time.

THE GARDEN   

It is really spring (temps in the 60-70 degree range) now and Mommie’s garden has several rows of lettuce and peas that have just come up.  I like going into the garden.  The cucumbers and corn that Mommie planted are barely out of the ground.

I don’t think I am going to like anything that is planted there, but it does look pretty.  All my bragging about becoming a vegetarian is just that, bragging.  I am a typical cat and a carnivore for sure because I like meat.

Mommie put a fence around the garden to keep Sparky and other neighborhood dogs out of the garden.  Of course, I can get over that fence in a jiffy.

I was wandering through the lettuce when I looked up and saw a big nose.  It was cold.  It wasn’t a dog.  That animal started to lick my face and I more or less kissed him back.  I looked up into that face and that was a DEER.  Mommie says the deer won’t hurt me because I don’t smell threatening.  But kissing?

I ran to the house and rubbed my nose in a more or less clean corner of my litter box.  It was bad enough “kissing” Sparky. But kissing a deer?  I WILL NOT tell anyone about this episode.  I didn’t see Mommie anywhere near so I don’t think she saw it.

P.S.  He was kind of cute though. 

ON THE ROAD TO VISIT COUSIN KITTIE  

Mommie decided to take a long trip so I could meet Cousin Kittie.  She is sure I can learn a few manners and other things from him.  It would take two days to get there.

On the road we stopped at a motel for the night.  Those people actually charged Mommie an extra $10 for me.  Mommie wasn’t happy but she wasn’t going to leave me in the car over night.  Mommie had brought along my own litter box and dry litter.  She had also brought along my favorite catnip mouse and one of her dryer balls.  I kept the mouse in the cage during the day and she brought out the ball at night.  I still got to sleep on her shoulder.

Whenever we stopped at a rest stop Mommie took the cage out of the car and walked far away from the buildings.  She let me out of the cage and I was smart enough to get back in when she called because she didn’t have a leash for me.

Along the way Mommie sang along with the radio and I slept a good part of the way. 

Mommie, do you know you sing off-key?

VISITING ANOTHER AUNTIE  

Before we got to see auntie Helen and Kittie, we stopped at her other sister, my auntie Phyllis.

I couldn’t believe it.  There were 10 – 15 cats all around the car when Mommie got out.   They were a lot friendlier than Mommie’s outdoor cats.  In fact, they snuggled up to her in a flash.  I can’t help it, I am jealous.  No other cats should touch MY Mommie like that.

Mommie took the cage inside before she let me out.  She was afraid the other cats might gang up on me and hurt me.  I’m glad because I didn’t want to have to cry to Mommie to keep the other cats away. 

Auntie Phyllis let Mommie and me stay all night.  I got to sleep on Mommie’s shoulder just like at home.  Auntie Phyllis was amazed that I would do that.  She said she wouldn’t let any of her cats sleep with her.  Mommie said she was missing something special.  And, then Mommie called me “Puffy Cat”.

I love Mommie.

ROLLS OF TAPE  

Before we left to visit the relatives, Mommie was busy doing the income tax and she was using an adding machine with rolls of tape.  It looked like the whole room was full of bits of tape.  Some were just a couple inches long and several were at least five feet long.  I guess she has lots of income or lots of deductions – Mommie says deductions.

Momma and I came into the room and saw the mess – it looked like a treasure trove to us.  Momma got a roll and started unrolling it.  I got one too.  Then we had a contest to see who could unroll the most without it rolling back on the other end.

Momma got smart and inched the end of one of her rolls under a half-full diet Pepsi can which was on the floor beside the desk.  This can held the end of the tape for her.  I was not so lucky because my tape started rolling on both ends and pretty soon I was in the middle all wrapped up in a bundle.  Momma thought I looked funny but I didn’t feel funny.  You would be amazed how tough paper can be even if you have sharp claws like mine.  I was STUCK.

Pretty soon Mommie came back into the room and looked at the two of us.  She said: “I really ought to leave you there for a while.  At least I will know where you are.”  But my Mommie is not mean.  She unwound the tape.  She didn’t want to cut it because she might need it for later.

I love Mommie. 

MOMMIE WAS GRUMPY 

Mommie is usually in good spirits but that day she had been extremely grumpy.  It seems there were only ten more days to get her income taxes filed online. 

She couldn't find her checkbook to verify a few things and she was missing two bank statements – and they were too old to get off the computer.  She could’t find the receipts for the solar panels she bought last year.  Of course the check book was lost and the bank statement she could use for verification was the missing one.

My advice was – stay away from Mommie.  That was not the day to tease her or even ask for affection. 

When she laid down for her afternoon siesta (she refuses to call it a nap), I went to her and purred really loud.  She began to pet me.  Later she said I had made her calm down.  It was then that she found the missing pieces.

I love Mommie

ALLERGIES  

Achoo, achoo.  Mommie was sneezing.  Then all of a sudden I was sneezing too.  It was mid April and pollen was in season – at least this year.  Sometimes it comes later in the year. 

Mommie contacted her doctor and was given a prescription for something with benedryl in it.  When Mommie contacted Dr. Candie, she was amazed that I would get the same prescription, except in a much smaller dose.   

When Mommie took her medicine, she gave me my medicine.  Unfortunately the benedryl caused drowsiness for both of us.  So when the minister made a call at two in the afternoon, Mommie and I were both asleep and didn’t hear him.  He saw the car in the driveway and when we didn’t answer the door, he went next door and asked the neighbor if she had seen us today.  He was worried.

Since Mommie and I hadn’t been outside all day – avoiding the pollen – the neighbor said we hadn’t been out all day.  The minister and the neighbor were concerned, so the neighbor took our spare key and came into the house.  They saw us both curled up on the couch in the living room sound asleep. 

They woke us up because they were worried.  Mommie was embarrassed that she still had her jammies on when they came in.  She explained the situation.  She was deeply appreciative that someone was concerned about us.

MOMMA AND RAMOS (THE GOAT) 

Several days after Momma moved in with us, I took her with me when I went to see Ramos.  Ramos is not particularly a social animal, so he was reluctant to include anyone new into his circle of friends.  After meeting Momma, Ramos took to her immediately and sensed a possible good long-term relationship.  Ramos was pleased that Momma was actually my biological momma. 

Since Momma had been on the street she was able to join in the fun Ramos and I enjoyed in inventing new “routines” for showing off.  After a couple weeks Momma and I were getting real good at jumping on and off Ramos’ back in tandem.  Momma was so light on her feet that Ramos was able to carry her around his neck.  She actually created several new “acts” for showing off.  What a team the three of us made!

After a while it became obvious to me that Ramos really preferred Momma to me.  I got the green eyes of jealousy and made it a point to “help” Momma make mistakes in our routines.  Momma recognized what was happening and she took me aside and reminded me that Ramos had the capacity to love two cats at the same time – just like I was able to love her and Mommie at the same time.

I love Momma.

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24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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