MORE MISCHIEF

 THE EARRING  

Yesterday when Mommie was getting ready to go to town, she looked and looked and couldn’t find one of her favorite earrings that she likes to wear.  The back of the earring was there but the pointed end was missing.  She looked for a while and decided to wear another pair.

Today when I got up in the morning to do my morning laps through the house, on the other side of the bed, I found it.  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH  That hurts.  It stuck into my left paw and it feels like it went all the way through my paw. 

My LOUD meowing woke Mommie up.  I hobbled over to Mommie’s side of the bed and stuck out my paw.  She said : “Oh look, you found my earring.” She didn’t get it.  She thought I was giving her a present.  I MEOWED louder and then she looked at my paw.  She took the earring out of my paw and kissed it – my paw, not the earring.  There wasn’t any blood because it was actually stuck between my claws and had not gone through the paw. 

I needed the kiss anyway. 

  I GOT RECYCLED  

Mommie is a "greenie".  She reduces, reuses and recycles as much as possible.  Last year she got a compost barrel which she put in the back yard where she throws food that is past its prime or uneaten at the end of a meal.

Yesterday Mommie threw out some pudding from the refrigerator that had mold around the edges.  She took it out to the compost barrel and she forgot to put the lid back on the barrel.  I saw her dispose of the pudding (my favorite vanilla), so when I saw the open barrel I ran and jumped (it was high so I had to take a run for it to get to the top of the barrel) in order to get the pudding that was still on top of everything.

Not exactly a good choice.  The compost smashed down because of my weight.  After eating the pudding, I realized that I was in too deep and narrow and I couldn’t take a run to get out.  I tried yowling for a while, but I knew Mommie was in the house and couldn't hear me.  When it came dusk she came looking for me and that is when I started my yowling in earnest.

She heard me and saw where I was.  She went back into the house and got a pair of gloves to get me out.  She said I smelled to "high heaven" and she held me by the nape of my neck and carried me to the bathtub.  She thought about washing me off outside with the hose, but she was kind enough to wash me with warm water in the tub.

Mommie said I had to sleep in my rocker that night because I was still a little "smelly".  After the bath I tried to wash some of the smell off with my usual self washing.  Even I didn't like the way I smelled.

Is there a "low heaven", too?

THE ALARM CLOCK  

When Mommie went to town on Friday she bought a new alarm clock so it would wake her up in the morning.  I thought I did a pretty good job of that, but she was worried that I might oversleep some morning.  She wanted a backup plan.

She opened the box and showed it to me.  Mommie said the instructions were in Chinese, but she had done other clocks in the past and she figured she could do this one too.  After about twenty minutes Mommie was so angry she threw the clock on the floor.  She said she would have to get her 18 year-old great nephew, Beau, to set it up.

Around one o’clock in the morning there was this tremendous siren-like wail coming from the floor.  It almost scared the you-know-what out of me.  Mommie sat up in bed like a flash.  Mommie picked up the offending clock and said some really bad words. 

She tried to shut it off, but couldn’t figure out how to do it.  She didn’t have it plugged in and she didn’t put in a battery so she figured there must be a battery in there some place.  She pulled off all the little doors that are on most electronic gadgets like this.  No luck.  And it kept wailing.

Finally Mommie took the clock to the cellar and put a pillow over it so it wouldn’t keep us awake.  About three o’clock Mommie woke up with a start and thought that if there was a battery in it, then it could get hot and burn up the pillow and then the house.  She got up again and went to the cellar and brought the clock upstairs and put it in the bathtub and covered it with water.  The clock finally quit that noise.

THE CELLAR  

When Mommie took the clock upstairs early this morning, she turned off the light in the cellar – and I was still there!

I hate this cellar.  In designer language it is considered an unfinished basement. Actually, it is very close to being just a hole in the ground with a few cement blocks holding up the house.  You can see and smell the dirt behind the blocks.

MEOW, MEOW, MEOW.  Mommie didn’t hear me because she was trying to shut off that blasted alarm clock.  There was a little bit of moonlight coming in from a very small window well on the south side of the cellar.  I know there were spiders and probably some mice here, and I was scared.

MEOW, MEOW, MEOW.  Mommie, please come.  After Mommie went to bed she realized I was not on her shoulder.  She got up and called and called for me.  Finally she remembered the cellar.  She opened the door and I flew into her arms. 

COUSIN BONNIE  

Cousin Bonnie came home for the weekend when Mommie and I were at Auntie Phyllis’ house.

I could tell right away that Bonnie was a cat lover.  She actually knew the names to every one of the cats outside and she communicated with all of them.  Bonnie is wonderful!  I wish Mommie was as astute as Bonnie when it comes to cats.

Bonnie knew exactly the right place to pet me and what to say to me.  Mommie gets real close, but Bonnie does it better.  I am going to have to teach Mommie the right things to do and to say.

Bonnie would love to have her special cats live in the house with Auntie Phyllis, but Auntie Phyllis says cats belong outside.  Phyllis is afraid that she might accidentally step on the cats or they might trip her.  She said if Bonnie was home all the time then she might consider it.

I love Cousin Bonnie.

EASTER EGGS   

Mommie couldn’t really explain the reason for the Easter Bunny and Easter eggs, but she and Auntie Helen sure had fun dying the eggs.  Auntie Helen was going to hide them for her grandchildren who were coming in a couple days.  Easter Bunny, grandchildren – too many new words.  Mommie said she would tell me about it when we got home.

Auntie Helen and Mommie got out a couple dozen eggs and boiled them till they were hard.  Then they got out what they called dye.  The dyes change the color of the egg shells.  Blue, yellow, and red were the main colors.  When they wanted another color they just dipped the eggs in two different pans of dye.

Kittie and I were just messing around, wrestling and teasing each other.  All of a sudden Kittie jumped on the table with the dye pans.  Not to be left behind I jumped too.  Uh, oh.  Not so smart.  Kittie landed in the blue dye and I landed in the yellow dye.  Luckily, it was only our paws that got colored, but that dye really sticks.

Kittie said it just meant he was a “blue blood” and that I should have had the yellow down my back in a stripe.  Mommie said not to worry, Kittie was just joking.  She said I was very brave not to cry when the color didn’t go away from my paws when she washed them several times.  I kind of like yellow feet because they look like rain boots to me. 

 EASTER PARADE  

Last Saturday before we left for our Easter vacation we went to the annual Easter Parade downtown.  Everyone was invited to enter a float or at least come to watch the parade.

Ramos’ people mommie entered a homemade float.  She made a wooden platform which she attached to the top of her garden wagon.  With a small chain fastened to the wagon and tied to the riding mower she was able to pull the float.

On top of the float she had made a small white picket fence which outlined the floor of the float.  She put straw on the floor and she “planted” artificial flowers in each corner.  It actually looked cute. 

Ramos and two of his little sisters were put on the float.  His mommie borrowed a couple hens from one of the neighbors.  Then she asked Mommie if I could go along for the ride.  YIPEE!!  Ramos’ mommie doesn’t know it but Ramos and I have worked out a “routine” to wow the spectators. 

Our routine is this:  As Ramos walks around the floor I jump on and off his back.  For a while I just ride contentedly on his back.  In the yard this worked out perfectly.  However, when being pulled by a lawn mower over streets that aren’t exactly smooth, it didn’t work too well.

Our routine went pretty good until the parade hit the brick street.  As Ramos was walking, he tripped a little and I missed his back and went over the fence out into the street.  Since the float was going pretty slow I thought I would be able to catch up with the float and get back on. 

WRONG.  Someone in the crowd picked me up and looked to see if I was hurt.  I wasn’t.  I just wanted to get back on the float.

It took Mommie two hours to find me because she wasn’t right at the point where I fell off.  Someone turned me in to the parade promoters.  Finally Mommie heard the announcement over the loud speaker about a “cute gray and black tabby, probably about a year old that fell off a float.”  Mommie ran to collect me at the parade office.

Ramos’s float won 2nd place.  It got special recognition for originality – especially the Goat / Cat exhibition.

Boy, was I tired that night.  Cute, huh? 

THEY'RE NOT DONE YET!  YIPPEE!!  

Last night Mommie was making brownies for the church supper tonight.  She opened the oven door to check if they were done yet by sticking a toothpick into the baked dough.

Not done yet.  Yippee!!  Some of the batter stuck to the toothpick.   When Mommie left the room I jumped onto the counter and licked the brownie toothpick. Yum yum.

Mommie forgot that she had used the toothpick before -- and she didn't know I had licked it -- so she used the same one again.

It's OK, I don't have very many germs.

HIDEY HOLE – BUSTED  

Yesterday when Mommie was in the throes of spring cleaning she ran across one of my hidey holes.  She pulled out the TV stand to clean behind and under it.  There was her bra!  Mommie was really excited because she thought she had found the mother lode.  Sorry Mommie, I have two more. 

I had forgotten exactly what all I had there.  It seems Mommie found the red bra, the green washcloth, three half-eaten single-serving potato chips bags (BBQ), and several wads of chewed gum.  There was a little studded crown that belonged to Sissy and that awful fluorescent orange collar (still in the package and not fitted for me). 

What she didn’t find were the vitamin pills I have hidden, the leash I got for my birthday and four or five smashed granddaddy long legs. 

Oh well, I will just have to be more careful where I hide my treasures.

THE COMB  

After we went to see cousin Kittie, Mommie bought a comb for me.  Auntie Helen said she used a comb on Kittie every day and he seemed to like it, especially in the summertime when he sheds.  Mommie had been using a brush on me which hurt sometimes because it is too big and stiff.

The comb Mommie bought is w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.  I love it.  It feels soooo good when Mommie takes the time to comb my hair.  Sometimes, since my hair is long in places, I get tangles in it.  This new comb takes these tangles out without the ouchies the brush used to produce.

Thank you cousin Kittie.

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24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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30.03 | 13:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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05.09 | 15:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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28.08 | 12:44
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