SUMMER, SUMMER, SUMMER

 THE WATER BILL

Sparky's mommie called the other day all upset. Her water bill was $135.89. Mommie asked if she had a leak in the system. She said she had a repairman from the water company come out to look and no leaks were found. She was definitely puzzled.

I wish I could tell Mommie what is really going on. The other day when we went to visit Sparky's mommie, Sissy told me a secret. The first floor powder room has one of those new toilets that have push buttons on them instead of handles. Since Sparky's mommie's great aunt stays there a lot, they fixed the button so it would flush easily.

You have probably already guessed: Sissy was flushing the toilet when her mommie was gone. Sissy is very jealous and doesn't like to be left home alone, so she pouts and sometimes she does naughty things. She had been flushing that toilet for the last three or four weeks now every time she was left home alone.

A couple days later Sparky's mommie called to say her great aunt was cat sitting with Sissy when she was gone and, apparently Sissy didn't realize the great aunt was still there. So she caught Sissy flushing the toilet.

Sissy got "time out" in Melanie's room. (I have a pouting "corner" and Sissy has a whole "room".) Sparky's mommie has since installed a "cat proof" lock on the door that is easy for the great aunt, but next to impossible for Sissy to manage.

Ha Ha Sissy. I'm not the only one that gets in trouble.

MOMMIE FOUND MY HIDEY HOLE

This last year I had three hidey holes that I stored things in that I wanted to play with later. Several months ago Mommie found one of them. Yesterday Mommie found the second of my three hidey holes.

Mommie is expecting visitors from out of town, so she is doing a very thorough house cleaning. She found my hidey hole under the couch. No one can really see my hidey hole from the front or from behind unless you actually move the couch.

The one Mommie found is the smallest one. I only had three coupons, six dimes, four paper clips, one pen (that doesn’t write), her missing ear plug, and 106 vitamin pills.

Mommie gasped when she saw the vitamin pills. She said: “You little rascal! Here I pay 97 cents for each of those pills and this is where you put them!! You are obviously perfectly healthy without them. I guess I can save over $350 a year.”

I know Mommie and I have been together almost a year, but we constantly find out new things about each other. That’s life.

Mommie, I am not a little rascal any more – I am a BIG rascal!

BEEF JERKY

When Mommie watches TV she eats this stuff called “beef jerky”. I wonder if it jerks. Today a couple pieces fell to the floor when Mommie was chomping away.

It smelled pretty good so I went snooping and then I decided to take a bite. YIKES! It is very salty and very t-o-u-g-h. Good thing Mommie has false teeth because it takes powerful teeth to eat it.

This is one time I am not going to ask for seconds. If any falls to the floor again, I am going to hide it in my hidey hole and when Sparky comes over to visit, I will bring it out and let him eat it. I hope it doesn’t break his teeth (ha ha).

 HELPING MOMMIE WASH WINDOWS

Mommie washed the living room windows on the inside this morning. Now she is on the outside trying to do the same thing.

She goes up and down, up and down, up and down with the squeegee. I am inside trying to follow her motions. I could get sick if they were circular, but these are just up and down. Every now and then Mommie goes over the same spots on the window.

I think I am helping Mommie by putting my paws on the window and going up and down with her and the squeegee. Apparently not, because Mommie came in grumbling about me putting new spots on the windows on the inside and she is trying to clean them on the outside.

Mommie decided to put me outside so at least she could keep track of where the paw marks were on the window. Mommie had to redo the inside of the windows. Mommie didn’t really get upset because she should have known that is what I would do with the squeegee on the outside.

I love Mommie. 

MOMMIE THINKS I’M WEIRD

Mommie harvested her first watermelon of the season yesterday. She said it had to be in the refrigerator overnight so it would be good and cold. Today when Mommie took her knife to the middle of that BIG green ball it c-r-a-c-k-e-d. Mommie said if it was going to be good it would crack.

Invited to the watermelon unveiling was Sparky’s mommie, Melanie and Parker Daniel. Of course, it wouldn’t be a party without Sparky and Sissy. The three of us were having a ball. Melanie was watching Parker Daniel who was crawling all over the deck.

Mommie, Melanie and Sparky’s mommie were really enjoying their watermelon. Mommie was distracted and dropped a cup-size piece of watermelon onto the deck. The three of us, Sparky, Sissy and I, all lunged at the piece. The piece was big enough so all of us could take a bite. Sparky and Sissy each took one bite and spit it out. I LOVED my bite.

The watermelon was cold and sweet. I like sweet. I didn’t like the seeds, but I watched Mommie spit out the seeds, so I did too. I begged for more and Mommie gave me another piece.

Mommie told everyone I was weird. She said she never before saw a cat or dog ever like watermelon.

What is weird? I hope it is something nice.

THE FLAT TIRE

Today the outside temperature was over 100 degrees. Mommie was taking me to see Daddie again. We were driving along until I heard a "blump, blump". Mommie said "Oh No, I think we have a flat tire".

Mommie called the roadside assistance line. They said it would be about a half hour before they could get there. Mommie ran the air conditioner on high and we waited, and waited, and waited. After about 45 minutes Mommie got out the car manual and began searching for the tire changing tools.

She found the tools under the trunk compartment, but the spare was under the car. Mommie has a problem getting down on the ground, so she was groaning when a Lexus parked behind Mommie and a nice gray-haired man got out of his car and offered to help Mommie with the tire. He said he didn't like the idea of Mommie and me stranded in this intense heat on the side of the highway with a flat tire.

He turned out to be a real gentleman. If I didn't know any better, I would say he was actually flirting with Mommie. Mommie made sure he saw her wedding band, but when the tire was changed and all the tools put back, Mommie blushed a bit. She tried to pay him, but he refused.

Just as the gentleman was getting in his car the roadside assistance van pulled up.

Mommie was real tired tonight, so I purred extra long just for her.

 THE LIGHTS WENT OUT

Last night about midnight, the night light Mommie keeps in the bathroom flickered and went out. It seems there was a storm outside and lightening flashing must have hit a transformer or something because all the lights went out.

Mommie heard the thunder and saw the lightening. She grabbed for her flashlight. It wasn’t there by the bed. Then she remembered she had put it in the kitchen “junk” drawer because she had cleaned off the bedside table when company came last week.

She got up out of bed and almost tripped on a throw rug because she couldn’t see where she was going. Mommie, just follow me – I can see in the dark a lot better than you can. Mommie seemed to sense this and she actually let me lead the way.

As soon as she got the flashlight out of the drawer, the lights came back on. Mommie gave me an extra pet before we went back to sleep.

 TOMATOES

By the front porch Mommie planted these little trees. At least they look like trees. They grew very rapidly and the leaves smell good.

The last time I went out to look at these little trees, I found little round green things growing on the branches. It has been almost a month since I last looked at them closely. Today I found some BIG red things on the branches. They look so heavy I think they are going to pull the tree to the ground.

Mommie came out just as I was looking at those big red balls. Mommie, what are those things? Do they taste good? Mommie seemed to understand what I was thinking because she called the balls tomatoes and she said mostly only people and goats eat tomatoes. She said they are generally too tart sometimes for other animals – like me.

Mommie said they taste really good right off the branch. After she offered me a bite, I spitted it out – that wasn’t something I wanted to eat. She said she liked it in salads. I don’t know what salads are but that is ok because I am not going to be eating tomatoes any time soon.

THE MIRROR – ROUND 2 

Now that I am almost a year and a half old, Mommie tried again with the mirror. This time she explained what was happening. I strutted around with my tail up high and I swished my body around just to see how I looked. WOW, Mommie is right – I am cute! Now I can’t get enough of the mirror. MommieWhat a big ego! Just wait till he gets older and fatter; he will avoid the mirror at all costs. 

I bet Sparky avoids mirrors when he is all dressed up in what his mommie (maybe it’s really Melanie) wants him to wear. I know I would if I were him. 

 MY ANNIVERSARY

Mommie and I have been together for a year now. It has been a wonderful year.

Mommie has learned to live with my idiosyncrasies – and I have learned to live with hers. She finally knows what kind of food I like and what I will actually eat. She knows she has to feed me three times a day, plus leave some dry food in the bowl so I can snack once in a while during the day.

Mommie knows what I like to play with and where I like to hide if I want to be left alone. (NOTE: Mommie likes to be left alone once in a while too.) My pouting corner has been upgraded to my relaxation corner. I don’t pout any more. I accept my responsibility for what I do – or if I can blame Sissy or one of the outdoor cats, I will. But, I think Mommie always knows the truth.

I am now a BIG kitty. I weigh almost sixteen pounds. Mommie thinks she is going to put me on a diet. But, my {biological) Momma has taught me to eat mice and other outdoor delicacies. So if Mommie feeds me diet food, I will just find my own food – ha ha Mommie.  

NEW CATS

Mommie and I went to see her favorite Aunt Emma who lives in Colorado. As we started out Mommie gave me some pills that tasted really good, but seemed to encourage me to rest. (Mommie: It was a very, very mild sedative which I got from the vet so I could let Sparkles run loose in the car without having to be cooped up in his visiting cage.) So it turned out that I was a very good “Puffy Cat” all the way there.

Mommie hadn't seen her cousin, Judy, in 35 years. Judy had two good looking girl cats which were really fun to play with. We played in the gazebo and chased each other all around the beautifully landscaped back yard. The only problem was that these cats were house cats and didn't have any front claws. I just had to show off and scratch Judy's deck and the couch in the family room. Please don't tell Mommie.

I was so tired that night I didn't need any help from the pills.

THE THERAPY DOG

One day when Mommie sneaked me (inside her tote bag) into the hospital to see Aunt Emma, a Social Worker came to the room with a HUGE dog for Auntie to play with. I thought I had done a great job encouraging Auntie to smile when she played with me, but that big slob (Scarlet was her name) did an even better job than I did.

For a Poodle Doodle or Snicker Doodle (some kind of poodle mix anyway) she was actually cute. She had soft curly light brown hair. And, she had the quickest tongue around. She got to me before I had a chance to get out of the way. After she came I didn't have to take a personal bath that night. Auntie Emma loved her and the licking. 

When the nurses came in the room Mommie made me hide in the bathroom so they wouldn't see me. Scarlet came only once – I got to come three days. Ha Ha Scarlet !! 

I love Auntie Emma.

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24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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30.03 | 13:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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05.09 | 15:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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28.08 | 12:44
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