ALMOST A YEAR!!!

TUNNELS

As the story goes “It was a dark and stormy night. . . .”, it was DARK. Even though Mommie had the headlights on, it was still gloomy.

Mommie told me to close my eyes for a few seconds before we went into the tunnel. Being the brat that I am I didn't do it, so my eyes took a little longer to get used to the darkness. All we could see were the two small beams of headlights in front of us.

Even though the tunnel was only 500 feet long, Mommie started to get claustrophobic (whatever that is). She told me her heart rate went up and her hands began to shake. Boy, am I glad we didn't meet anyone! 

My eyes got a real shock when we got to the other end, although it was better than going into the tunnel because now we could see daylight at the end. On the way back I did what Mommie told me to do and my eyes didn't get so excited.

If I never see another tunnel it will be ok with me.

WINDMILL TOWERS

We took a different route on the way back. Most of the way was millions of miles of nothing. Not even cattle. The land was flat and covered with grass / weeds although every once in a while we saw a few hills. Since it was the “Sand Hills” Mommie thought they might actually be hills made out of sand.

Twice we saw fields of big, tall towers with wings on them. The wings kept flapping in a circle. Mommie said they were windmills. She said the “wings” were probably over 150 feet long and the tower was probably 200-300 feet high or more.

Mommie gave me this l-o-n-g drawn-out story behind the concept of windmill energy production. Condensed: The wings go round and round creating energy (don't remember what kind). This energy then is piped into the electrical system. Consumers don't use as much oil and coal in the production of the electricity needed to power their homes. I fell asleep at that point and don't remember the rest of the story. . . . .(s-n-o-r-e..honk, honk...)

 CHIPMUNKS 

When Mommie and I went to the mountains with cousin Judy we saw chipmunks – everywhere. At one rest stop we almost played with them. Mommie and Judy fed the little suckers – they only liked almonds.

I tried to play with them, but their mommies were everywhere and they wouldn't let me near the little fellas. One time I lunged at one and his mommie came after me and almost bit me. That was close enough for me, so I just sat and watched them play. They seemed to say “ha, ha, big fat cat.” If I get to see them when they are bigger and their mommies aren't around, I'll show them who is BIG. They sorta smell like mice, so maybe they taste good too!! 

They wore me out. I slept good and long that night.  

SMELLING THE TREES

Guess what Mommie and Aunt Helen did!! They smelled trees. In Judy's yard she has a Ponderosa Pine which she swears smells like butterscotch. So on our excursion to the mountains, we had to stop every so often so they could smell the trees.

When we stopped at the next camp, the manager came over and guessed what they were doing. She said her grandson said they smelled like strawberries. Of course, at the next stop they said they could tell that the one Pine smelled like butterscotch and the other one like strawberries. Since I am shorter all I got to smell was the doggie stuff (you get the idea).

With the chipmunks and the smelly trees we had a great day in the mountains.

DUCKS IN POND

Near the mountain top, there was a big, clear lake. Lots of fishermen had their lines thrown into it.

We saw lots more chipmunks. What is it with the almonds? They seem to put them in their mouths and then a little later we saw the chipmunk with big cheeks. Mommie thought they were saving them to take them back to their nests. That way they could carry three at a time – one in each cheek and one in the mouth.

While the chipmunks were going on and on, we suddenly saw a little, bitty duck swimming like crazy in the lake. It was trying to go upstream and headway was almost non-existent. He almost seemed like he was trying to get away from something.

Pretty soon we saw his mommie and five of his siblings. The baby's mommie got close enough to talk to him – at least she was making sounds that could have been the duck language. He obediently turned around and followed mommie.

Another baby duck started acting up and the mommie apparently put him in time out because he left the group and pedaled away in a small circle away from the others.. About ten minutes later his mommie came and got him to get the entire clan back together.

A prior experience with a mommie duck made me stop and think carefully about trying to catch one. I learned my lesson the first time. They looked so graceful I could have watched them all day.

RIGHT-HANDED BEAR

One thing Mommie really wanted to see was some bears. At the lake with the chipmunks and ducks we saw bears. At least Mommie said she did.

Way far off from the little ducks Mommie spotted something she thought was a bear. I looked and saw a fuzzy outline of something I guess could have been a bear. The bear appeared to reach his paw into the water and bring it up with a fish – he was right pawed (handed) – because he seemed to keep standing and supporting himself with the left paw.

Mommie got out her camera because she wasn't going to miss a picture of a bear (even if it was only a fuzzy something). It wasn't long before two little fuzzy outlines which Mommie claimed were baby bears came into the picture. They were right pawed too. Mommie changed the pronoun to her because she thought it would be the mommie's that taught their babies to fish.

Do daddy bears teach their young to fish or is this a mommie thing? Mommie said: If you know for sure write a note at the bottom of this page.

IRRIGATION CIRCLE 

On the way home we stopped at one of Mommie's high school friends. Luckily Mommie called ahead and we had a good dinner – the three barn cats and I got side bites. 

The barn cats were friendly and very nice. I thought anyway. After we played a few cat games, the other cats decided that I should go snipe* hunting with them. They described the snipes and explained where they stayed during the day because they went out at night. It sounded like snipes were rather tasty. They said the snipes stay in the corn field during the day nestled near the bottom of the corn stalks.

The cat leader said he saw one earlier in the day about 20 feet into the corn row. I went down the row he pointed out but I didn't see any. All of a sudden he yelled to me “over in the next row to your left”.

All of a sudden I got drenched. Soaking wet. I had been so intent on finding that snipe that I didn't hear the irrigation pivot coming. The ground was a little damp when I went into the field, but not wet enough to pique my curiosity. Bad oversight. You know how I hate cold water and that well water was C-O-L-D. Brrrr. 

When Mommie picked me up to get ready to leave she noticed how wet I was. She toweled me off and put me on the floor in the back seat so I wouldn't get everything else wet. She didn't know what had happened. I wish I could have told her about those mean old cats. 

* Snipes – They are imaginary animals. When city kids come out to the farm, the farm kids explain that to be a real farmer you have to get a snipe while hunting. It is sort of a “rite of passage” for city kids when they visit their farm cousins.

REMOTE

On our last night at a motel during our trip to Colorado, the people were watching TV amd I was trying to get hours 17 and 18 of my sleep for the day.

I was fast asleep on a pillow when I was awakened with something hard jabbing into my back legs. When I stretched, Uncle Ron, Aunt Helen and Mommie all yelled at the same time – who changed the channel? They had been watching a show which had cute dogs in it and it switched to professional wrestling. Ron accused the ladies of changing the channel so they could ogle the muscle-bound men. Since they couldn't find the remote right away Mommie got up and changed the channel manually (how quaint!) back to the dog show.

A serious hunt for the remote began after the third channel change. Aunt Helen had the “ah ha” moment when she patted the blanket and found the remote under my back legs.. Mommie called me a cutesie name, Uncle Ron just sighed, and I went back to sleep.

RED LOBSTER

When Mommie and the cousins met at Red Lobster for dinner I had to stay in the car. It wasn't really hot and I had water and food plus my litter box. Mommie said I was all set. But I wanted to go in too. I heard them all discussing what kind of fish they were going to have.

Mommie said she couldn't afford the lobster so she was going to have Alaskan Salmon. I have eaten salmon before and I LOVED it. The others talked about their choices. One was going to have talipia, another crab legs, and another lobster tail. I don't know about the crab legs and the lobster tail. If a crab is anything like a cat, their legs are so skinny you could barely get any meat. And, lobster tail – phew!!! I couldn't eat a tail from anything. What were they thinking!!

Mommie brought out a “doggie bag” to share with me in the motel room later. She assured me that it was only salmon – not a speck of lobster tail. Unfortunately, the box had only a very small piece of salmon and HUGH garlic roll. I thought I had better at least taste the roll because Mommie's breath will be garlicky and if mine is the same I can still sleep on her shoulder. Otherwise I would have to sleep under the bed.

I slept a long time so garlic must help with sleep.

BAD DRIVER – TEXAS NUMBER

When a big semi passed us the driver almost pushed us off the road because he got over the yellow lane line and we had to get over onto the shoulder a little bit. We watched him in front of us as he weaved all over the road from one lane to the other and almost off onto the shoulder. He also sped up and then slowed down.

Since Mommie wasn't driving she got out her cell phone and dialed *55 the universal number to report traffic problems – yours or other people's. Jenny, the operator, asked where we were so Mommie told her. Jenny came back on the phone sounding confused. She said she couldn't locate our mile number on her map. She transferred Mommie to a supervisor.

The supervisor came on the line sounding frustrated and upset – she, too, couldn't find the mile marker we had just passed. Finally she asked “What part of Texas are you travelling through?” TEXAS? We were in Nebraska.

Mommie got it! She has a Texas cell phone number even though we were driving in Nebraska. Just when Mommie found the number for the NEBRASKA help line, the truck turned off the Interstate and went south to Milford.

I witnessed the entire episode. He waved at me when he passed us. The truck was doing funny things on the road, in and out, in and out. I thought he was putting on a show for us. Good thing Mommie didn't hear Uncle Ron and me snicker when she apologized profusely to the Texas operator. 

I KNEAD MOMMIE 

Whenever Mommie is petting me or when I am lying on her tummy, I knead her. Mommie says she likes it. She says it is a sign that I love her. 

The key to good kneading is rhythm. When one paw is digging in the other one is getting ready to knead. My outdoor mommie says some cats knead with both paws at the same time, but most do the alternating knead.

Most people, especially bakers, think of kneading is what one does with bread dough when getting it ready to bake. To most people bakers kneads seem very strong. Cat kneads are barely perceptible (except if there are claws involved) and almost like a love pat. 

I knead Mommie.

 MOMMIE WON THE LOTTERY

Whoopee!!! Mommie says she won the lottery on a Mega play ticket. She says its only $105 but as she says “$105 is $105 more than I had yesterday”. I am not the one to remind her that she has played this game for over a year at $2 a week. Oh well, she is happy.

Happy, that is, until she couldn’t find the ticket. It seems she always plays the same numbers every week, so she knows hers was a winner. Mommie, I didn’t do anything with a lottery ticket. I don’t even know what it looks like. I don’t think she is blaming me at this point.

Mommie searched and searched for a week and was unable to find the ticket. Then yesterday when Sparky and Sissy were here, Sissy found the lottery ticket. It had fallen behind the commode and was stuck to the floor. Sissy pulled it out to the middle of the floor. Mommie doesn’t usually look in the guest bathroom, but she always does after Sissy leaves. She knows Sissy is a brat and does things that even I wouldn’t think of doing.

She found the ticket and realized that Sissy must have found the ticket in the bathroom and was probably playing with it. Mommy was happy with Sissy that day.

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24.06 | 17:14

Mommie, I am glad you are back! I was beginning to worry.

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30.03 | 13:11

Other places charge for these. Thanks.

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05.09 | 15:06

Interesting concept. I am sending an envelope with my name, address, and stamp on it so I can receive these for free.

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16.04 | 11:32
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