Yesterday when I woke up from my afternoon nap I was in the mood to go outside, I went to the door so Mommie could let me out and there it was – a BIG fight brewing between Loud Mouth and Patches.
Both of them had their tails up and were growling big time. I actually heard them growl with the front door closed and halfway down the hall. They were MAD at each other. I decided I needed another quick nap and didn't go out when Mommie opened
the door. Mommie tried to stop them from fighting, but it was a losing battle.
Loud Mouth struck the first blow and then Patches pounced on Loud Mouth. They wrestled for a couple minutes and then decided it was a draw and both went their
separate (and opposite) ways.
Mommie sat me down and explained that fighting usually never solved any problems. She said she would love me just as much if I backed out of a fight. Unfortunately, I think this was her way of saying I would
probably lose any fight with Patches or Loud Mouth. Mommie said she would label me a “peacemaker”, not a “coward”.
I love Mommie.
I HATE YouTube
has this program on her computer called “YouTube”. If I am in the room she will comment “Hey Sparkles, come here and see this cat on YouTube.” Of course, it is when a dumb old cat is doing something different on the
Yesterday I had to sit and watch when a cat danced around on two legs. I did this once in Texas while I was showing off to my friend Sissy, the cat. I have gained at least ten pounds since then and I don't think I can even get
up on my back legs even if I tried.
Then there was the cat opening doors. Mommie hurried through that one probably thinking I might actually learn something from that trick. Sure I did. She caught me this morning trying to open the door
on the bathroom vanity. You know, she actually swatted my front paws.
I cringe whenever I see one of those stupid cats falling to the floor. That could be me. I have leaped from one piece of furniture to another several times, but I also
knew my ability before I tried it – successfully.
I would rather see stupider dogs doing those things.
THE DOG WHISPERER
Mommie loves Saturday mornings when one of her favorite television
show is on: The Dog Whisperer. Mommie says she needs a “cat whisperer”. I think she means I need some training.
Maybe I'm too old and stubborn to make any changes in my habits. I like my routine. I go out every morning and stretch
and look for new things outside – new mice holes, different kitties to play with, maybe chase a bird or two.
Then I come in and eat some breakfast or lunch (it's usually around 11 a.m.), depending on whether I had any luck in the
mouse or bird hunt. If I am full I will only get a drink of water or two and then settle in for my 7-9 hour afternoon nap. I ignore Patches as much as possible.
If I am hungry I will eat some lunch in my favorite place – the top of
the vanity in the bathroom. I like this place because Patches has a very hard time getting up there. Mommie makes sure there is plenty of food and water there. Then I will go for the nap.
Usually I sleep on Mommie's bed but sometimes I
like my own loft. This is especially important if Patches is being a pest. He can get on Mommie's bed but he can't get to my loft. Once in a while I even sleep on the dining room table – which has a blanket or two piled on it (for whatever reason Mommie
has). But Patches likes that place so I generally leave it to Patches unless I am in a spiteful mood – then it's MINE.
When I am done sleeping – around 8 p.m. – I go outside and do my night prowling, and sleeping. I try
to sleep in the wood shed because it is the warmest. But some nights there are visitors and I have to sleep in the garage. It isn't as warm, but it is dry and safe.
There! That's my life. I don't growl and hiss unless it is necessary –
coons, Patches, and Loud Mouth come to mind. So I don't see why Mommie needs to train me. I am very clean and respectful – my routine is almost predictable. Maybe it is Mommie that needs trainning
Mommie was getting the Christmas presents ready. I already noticed mine in the stocking hung on Mommie's fireplace. Although he never comes in, a stocking was marked for Loud Mouth. Of course, Patches had a stocking too.
and Keith's mother came over to help Mommie make Christmas cookies for the church cookie swap. The boys came too, of course. Every once in a while the boys would get a bite of cookie dough. One time Kevin decided he would share his bite with me.
is this cookie dough made of? It stuck to my teeth and the roof of my mouth. And, it tasted ICKY ICKY ICKY. Kevin's mommie scolded him for giving me Play Dough and telling me it was cookie dough. She made him try to get it out of my mouth. OW OW OW. Having
that kid's fingers in my mouth was punishment for me, not him. I chomped down HARD. He cried, but his mommie said he had it coming.
By the time the little devils (yes devils) went home, I had gotten most of it out of my mouth, but I could
still taste it.
From now on I will be very careful what I take as treats from anyone.
I like living in Nebraska most of the year. BUT winter, especially
snow, is another matter. Snow is COLD and I like warm. When my little tootsies get covered up over my ankles, I freeze up. I know where the warm places in the shop and other buildings are, but I have to get there to enjoy the warmth. The trek from the house
to the shop is worse when it is snowing. Those flakes get on my fur and unless I shake them off I end up with cold, wet fur – b-r-r-r-r-r.
I miss the cold temperatures of Texas – 30-50 degrees and NO snow. If it snows in Texas
over an inch, everything shuts down. Here in Nebraska if it gets 30-50 degrees it is considered warm – time to get out the BBQ. If there is 5-6 inches of snow, the highways might shut down, but only until the snow plows go by. Then it is back to normal
winter travel. But, watch out for the ice.
I know about ice. Yesterday I slid at least 10 feet when I skated on the driveway – before Uncle Tom cleared it off.
Winter – BAH!!!
AM NOT A CHICKEN
“Sparkles, how can you be such a chicken?” Mommie actually said that to me. Adding, “Loud Mouth looks so innocent and laid back. You should be playing with him because he needs
a friend or two.”
Well, Mommie, for starters Loud Mouth is NOT innocent or laid back. You should see him when Patches or I try to be friends. We can't walk within five feet of him that he doesn't hiss and snarl. I guess you have
never seen our encounters. All you see, Mommie, are the times when he is outside and looking lonesome and friendless.
Besides, Mommie, I can't be a chicken, I have four legs and nice smooth, cuddly fur instead of feathers. That doesn't
even make sense. I am sure it is some long lost phrase that has some meaning or another.
In case you were wondering
why Mommie has not had time to post very many new episodes lately, it is because she is working with a publisher and she needs to concentrate on getting her (OUR) book organized. She has even left me and Patches alone for several weeks now. We
have had to work out our differences without Mommie refereeing. So far I am ahead.
I MISS MY MOMMIE! I WANT MOMMIE BACK!
She didn't even take the time
to proofread my post here. Mommie is the grammarian, not me.
ANOTHER NEW TOY FOR MOMMIE
Yesterday a delivery truck showed up by the back door. Mommie got a new toy. Sometimes Mommie
has a problem walking long distances, so she got a scooter. I thought scooters were for kids, but this is an adult version.
It has lights and turn signals. Also a horn – if you are hard of hearing you couldn't hear it. That sound
was so low, I think only a snail on the sidewalk could hear it. I hope Mommie knows how to drive so she doesn't have to use the horn – nobody would hear it anyway.
The best part – it has a basket on the handle bars just big
enough for ME! Mommie says it won't go more than 8 mph so it won't race like the motorcycle I rode on once or even the golf cart. Would you believe Mommie put me in the basket and raced (sort of) in the family room? Mommie kept going back and forth because
she said “I need practice backing up. I don't do a real good job with the car and I don't want to run over you or anyone.”
I know if Mommie is on it and I'm not, I will stay OUT OF THE WAY. I'm torn as to whether I
should tell Patches what I know. Of course, if Mommie runs over Patches she won't have anyone else to blame if a cat (meaning me) does cat pranks. You know, pushing things off of shelves, scratching on the sofa, or just being onery.
I warn Patches?
THE BIG SNOW STORM
The weather forecaster on the radio said it snowed at least a foot. It must be someone with a bigger foot than mine because I sank down
into the snow all the way to the bottom and I couldn't see over the edge. I wonder whose foot they used to measure it.
Patches and I went outside to play. We ran into Loud Mouth and my double* who were playing a game of tag. Since we all
had to jump from one spot to another the odds of catching each other were not good. Since me and my double were smaller we could hide in our little snow forts. But the two giants, Patches and Loud Mouth could use their strength to jump from one spot to another.
After a while we all tired out from the snow and laid down and made snow cat angels. Because my double and me were lighter we could actually lie on top of the snow and make pretty angels. The two big lugs were too heavy and they sank into the
snow. Mommie said my angel was the prettiest.
When Mommie called Patches and me into the house for “refreshments” the other two vanished into their secret hiding place together. I wonder if something romantic isn't going on
between those two – I saw them getting cozy after our playtime. Hmmm.
*Last winter Mommie found a girl cat who looks just like me.
went to town yesterday she said she was going to the Used Bread store to buy Patches and me some treats. She said they would be a lot cheaper there than at WalMart.
Mommie, are you crazy? Who wants Used Bread? Mommie calmed me down when
she said the Used Bread store carries bakery items (and some pet treats) which are out-of-date and cannot be sold in a regular store. She also said “most people call them day-old bakeries, but I like the sound of Used Bread.”
and I each have our own food dishes, but the same water dish. However sneaky Patches sometimes eats out of MY dish and I can tell. (Who couldn't smell that old coot's saliva on MY food?) Mommie doesn't understand when I refuse to eat the rest of my food when
I can smell Patches' slobbers on it. To me, that is real Used Food.
Mommie does have a special dish – just for me where Patches can't get to very easily – on top of the vanity in the bathroom. Of course, Patches gets his own
dish full and also mine when I refuse to eat the leftovers he leaves in MY dish. Patches knows he can't get my special dish because he gets my regular dish full.
I guess Patches is smarter than I thought. Hmmmm.
NOTE FROM MOMMIE: The final draft copy of the book "THE CATNIP DIARIES - The First Year" has been sent to the printer. The publisher says it will be available on-line at Amazon, Kindle and others as an e-book by the
first of April. It will be available in brick and mortar stores such as Barnes and Noble and other book stores at the same time. Printed editions will also be available on-line.
Remember: The book contains 10
or12 episodes that have not been printed on this site. If you are a loyal reader (and we have a few), just let us know at the bottom of this page and we will send you the episodes so you don't have to pay for them.
some point in time autographed printed soft-cover editions will be available. Let us know if you are interested and we will get one to you at our cost (not what will be charged in book stores).
Thank you so much for your patience
and loyalty. Sparkles and I love you.
“O, FOR PETE'S SAKE”
I heard Mommie say that to Uncle Tom when they were “discussing”
Presidential politics. She said “O, for Pete's sake, can't you see the difference between the two candidates?” Uncle Tom just shrugged his shoulders and went on to a different topic.
Pete? Who is Pete? I didn't
see anyone else in the room and I don't think she was referring to me. I know nothing about politics (and don't care to). I KNOW she wasn't talking about Patches' sake – he doesn't know the difference between a special treat and regular cat food, so
how would he know anything about politics.
I am going to listen again so I can understand what Mommie was talking about. Does any reader out there know what she meant?
Mommie is taking a break and will revive this site beginning May 1, 2016. New material for a second book is in the works and it will be put on this site at that time. Since you are reading this online you wouldn't have to buy the second book.
There are 10 diary entries included in the published book that are not on this site. If you want copies of those entries, please leave your name and email address on the "FRIENDS" page.
You have been wonderful supporters and we really appreciate
it. Thank you.
ROCKIN' WITH MOMMIE
Mommie has this wonderful habit – she rocks me. Sometimes she cuddles with me and holds me in her lap (as if I were a human baby) in her
Back and forth, back and forth. It is very soothing. Once in a while I even fall asleep when she does this. Of course, every now and then Mommie sings to me about some cradle in a treetop (huh?). I don't understand that, but apparently
it makes sense to Mommie. And, by now you must know that Mommie is always a half note off key when she sings. I don't care, I love hearing Mommie sing. It means she loves me enough that she opens up to me even if no one else likes her singing.
Patches. He doesn't get to rock with Mommie. Once in a while he will climb on Mommie's lap, but he never stays long enough to enjoy the rocking.