Yesterday Mommie said she had “things to do, places to go and people to see” on Mother's Day. So I decided to help her out.
The first thing
I did was wake her up at 6 a.m. Because if she has that much to do, I know she needs lots of time to get it all done. Even at 6 a.m. Mommie is funny. All she did was look at me in amazement; then she said “Grr-rr”. Mommie told me
one time that when she says that it means she is pretending to be a bear. And, when she pretends something it is when she is trying to amuse me. Of course I laughed.
About noon Mommie said she was going to take a “catnap.” I
knew I had to help Mommie out. If she took a catnap like I take a catnap, she wouldn't get any of her plans accomplished; after all, my naps last 6 – 7 hours. It would be night before she got up and went somewhere. So I woke her up. And, again she went “Grr-rr” which
made me laugh.
After Mommie got home from going places, I brought her an extra nice Mother's Day present – a dead mouse which I placed on the front steps.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOMMIE!!!!
EMERGENCY – SOS – EMERGENCY
Its 5:01 in the morning and MY FOOD BOWL IS EMPTY!!! I guess I could eat out of Patches' bowl, but his slobber remains make it so unappealing.
What to do? What to do? I know: I'll wake up Mommie. After all on Mother's Day I woke her up at 6 and she didn't complain and its only one hour earlier. She can just go back to sleep if she wants to and get up at 7 like she does every other
I jumped on the bed and m-e-o-w-e-d very loud. Mommie jumped up and grabbed me and started to pet me. Mommie, I don't need a pet, I am hungry. I slithered away from her clutches and led her out the bedroom door and straight to my bowl.
She looked at my bowl and then at Patches' bowl.
This is only the fourth or fifth time Mommie has ever yelled at me. “SPARKLES, YOU NAUGHTY CAT. YOU COULD EAT OUT OF PATCHES' DISH.” Then she felt bad and got the
food sack and loaded my dish down with food and even added a couple treats on top.
Before she went back to bed she hugged me and apologized for yelling at me. I guess I need to bring Mommie another dead mouse present.
“QUIT CALLING ME MYRTLE”
When Mommie went to town today, she stopped along the road and picked up a half-grown turtle. Mommie said it was on its back and couldn't get turned over. And
when it was turned over, it could hardly walk. So she brought it home for Patches and me to befriend.
What a dunce! It walked very s-l-o-w. I could run to the house and turn around five times before it walked a foot. Patches and I named
it Myrtle. When we teased it, we called it Myrtle the Turtle. That is when the turtle got irate. Really, really, irate.
It said: “quit calling me Myrtle. I am a BOY, not a girl and I resent you giving me a girl's name.” Then
he started walking faster and almost caught Patches with his snapper mouth. Since I can run faster than Patches, I danced around him in circles taunting, Myrtle the Turtle, Myrtle the Turtle, Myrtle . . . .
Pretty soon I lost track of him
in the high grass. That is when I lost interest in the game. A little while later I was playing tag with Patches, forgetting all about Myrtle. That is when he jumped at me from behind a big clod of dirt. Whew, that was close!! The little sucker almost got
Fortunately, Mommie saw him lunge at me; so she decided to take Myrtle to the animal shelter where he can jump at people who know he is a boy.
I heard Mommie and Uncle Tom talk about Patches (I think), after all who else would they be talking about except Patches as Willy Nilly.
Mommie said: “You know I wouldn't toss grass
seed willy nilly at those patches in the lawn.”
I got scared for Patches. Even if he is my biggest nemesis, I want him alive and well so I can keep teasing him. Who else am I going to tease if Patches gets thrown willy nilly?
How was throwing grass seed at Patches going to hurt him anyway? Although Patches is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer, even he would run away from tossed grass seed.
Uncle Tom agreed with me and said he believed Mommie wouldn't
throw grass seed at Patches – aka (also known as) willy nilly.
I told Patches about the discussion and he said Uncle Tom would protect him no matter what. I guess so, because I know Mommie would protect me no matter what.
This morning I heard Mommie and Uncle Tom discuss “karma”. It seems as if Mommie's best friend was cheated by a salesman who promised the friend a special oil
painting. It turned out to be a paint-by-number picture that looked like a toddler had painted it. Mommie said the salesman “will get his. Karma is around the corner.” He did too; the police raided his home and found counterfeit $20
Well, karma worked on Mommie too. This morning when Mommie was watering her “garden” – two tomato plants and two cucumber plants (ha ha), she aimed the water hose on me and I got drenched. Then when she was
done she dropped the hose to the ground. It landed just right so that the control to the spray end hit and sprayed water all over Mommie.
Karma, karma karma. . . .
WILL MOMMIE EVER LEARN?
when Mommie was watering her garden she sprayed Patches with the hose. I didn't know he could run so fast! Then Mommie saw me. OH NO!! She sprayed me again. This time she really got me drenched. I was soaked clear to the skin. I guess I didn't run fast enough.
Uncle Tom felt sorry for both of us and let us in the house by the back door. So, when Mommie came in she saw two puddles inside by the back door. She went to get a mop to clean it up and then she forgot all about it.
she going to be surprised by the wet puddle on her pillow! The pillow was soft and cuddly so it dried me off pretty good. It was soft enough that I was able to go to sleep even in the wet spot. Since the puddle was really wet, it will still be wet when I get
up this afternoon.
Remember Mommie: Karma, karma karma...........
MOMMIE GOT THE MESSAGE
I heard Mommie tell Uncle Tom that she is no longer going to spray water on me. She said
“the first time I sprayed water on Sparkles, the hose fell and sprayed ME. After the last time I watered down Sparkles he slept on my pillow and I had to go to bed with a wet pillow. UGH! I think I get the message. I don't know how Sparkles was able
to produce Karma like he did, but boy did he encourage Karma to get me. I should have known better.”
HERE WE GO AGAIN
Mommie says we were going on another trip
to the mountains. This time I got to ride in the rear window – on top of all the luggage. Mommie made sure Auntie Helen put up a screen so I couldn't get into the front seat area. Even though cousin Gary was along for part of the ride, I had access to
a small water pan and a dish of food. No treats showed up until we got to the motel.
It was fun to smile at all the kids in cars that passed us. Some of them pointed and I know they were looking at me. But Mommie gave me a little pill that
she said would calm me down, so I slept most of the way there. Mommie did let me out at all the rest areas. We would always go to the back of the rest area where the pets were supposed to go. Of course, there were dogs, but I never saw another cat. Mommie
said most kitty mommies can't trust their cats to come when they are called. I was really a good boy and was obedient. Besides, I was afraid Mommie might leave me and I didn't want to deal with any dogs.
The first night at the motel was
fun. Mommie took me into the room and then proceeded to get the luggage out of the car. The door was just ajar enough that I slipped through. After Mommie got all settled, she started looking for me. I found the nice clerk at the front desk who couldn't resist
petting me. When Mommie finally came to the front desk, the lady had found a nice box of kitty treats. (Boy, were they good. I wish Mommie had that kind.) Since Mommie hadn't told the clerk I was along, Mommie had to pay an extra $10 for me.
guess Mommie thought I was worth the $10. I love Mommie!